The Fandoms as People Who Showed Up At Your Beach Party

lekosis:

Marvel: Looks like a jock but is actually super chill once you get to chatting.  Wears a backwards baseball cap.  Brings the keg.

DC: Marvel’s goth buddy.  Always seems angry about something.  Starts the bonfire and stares at it for a really long time.

Mass Effect: Their significant other died tragically a few years back and they’re not really over it yet.  They try to put on a brave face and they’re always telling jokes but when the booze starts flowing they get real quiet and sad.

Dragon Age: Showed up with Mass Effect a few parties ago and hasn’t left the group since.  Hipster, life of the party, super comfortable with their sexuality and ready to fight about it.  Might have a little baggage, and sometimes gets high with Mass Effect and just repeats, “Fuck, man.  I mean, fuck,” over and over again.

Star Wars: Coordinates the beach volleyball game.  Laid back.  Loves people in spite of their flaws.  Gets hit on a lot.  Has kind of a shitty home situation but works hard to be happy in spite of it.  Gives really good advice to people who have trouble with their parents.

Elder Scrolls:  Has a killer sword collection at home.  Goes to Ren faires.  Spends most of the party getting stoned with Mass Effect by the shore
and staring at the stars, occasionally whispering, “whooooaaaa…” 

Fallout: The local phone-jailbreaker.  Jury-rigs a makeshift grill from abandoned car parts when everybody else forgets to bring stuff.  Really good at cooking meat.  Like… eerily good at it. 

Pokemon: Somebody’s kid brother they couldn’t leave at home.  Runs around on the beach finding snails to shove down people’s pants.  Bonds with one.  Cries when they have to leave it behind at the end of the party.  Everybody watching becomes oddly nostalgic for their lost youth.  They remember when they were that innocent.

Adventure Time: Funniest person at the party.  Talks to their dog like he’s a person and got everybody else to start doing it too.  Gets really happy when drunk and passes out candy.  Drags the sad people out of their shells with screaming hyper laughing energy.  Leads the group in song.

Stephen Universe: Takes their food really seriously, wears a look of intense concentration on their face as they arrange grilled stuff on their plate.  Laughs at EVERY joke.  Even the dumb ones.

Dishonored: Spends literally the entire party staring out to sea, looking for whales.

Star Trek:  The chill older dude who owns the beach house and lets you use it for parties.  Looks intimidating at first glance but sells weed to all of your friends.  Makes sure everybody who shows up is safe, and gives fantastic relationship advice.  Has seen everything and just likes to see the young people having a good time.

Lord of the Rings: They know like thirteen languages and they won’t stop correcting your grammar, politely, but still. They hang out with Elder Scrolls sometimes to compare sword collections and swap Ren Faire stories. They have the best weed but they also get really, really weird when stoned.