Hey, everyone! For those of you who either don’t celebrate Christmas or who have the time to be reading fic – here’s Chapter 14!
Tag: To the Upper Air
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
So – I think I promised you all Chapter 14 sometime today, and here it is, polished and ready for reading! Here’s hoping that those of you celebrating Christmas today got all the things you wanted and that you get to celebrate with people you care about.
As per usual, the chapter has been posted on Ao3 and comments, kudos, likes, and reblogs are much appreciated!
To the Upper Air: Chapter 14 – Truce and Truth
He was getting too old to be running about London, but Hennessey
would never be too old, he thought privately, to be amused at the look
on James’ face when Hennessey startled him.Both men in the room
had jumped to their feet when the Admiral entered the room. It was
instinct on James’ part, ingrained in him after over twenty years in the
Navy, though Hennessey noticed that he was slow in doing so, not out of
laziness but out of pain. He winced as he stood, Hennessey noticed –
the left knee if he was any judge, and he waved a hand.“Sit down,” he snorted. “We’re not on the parade ground. James -” He stopped, looking James up and down. The Boy –
Well,
it wasn’t the worst bruising he had ever seen but that was hardly a
recommendation. Hennessey felt a sinking sensation in his stomach as he
looked at his injured protegé. He barely restrained the urge to rake a
hand over his hair, amusement fading to worry and slight irritation, and
sighed instead.“Please tell me,” he said in a patient, if somewhat exasperated tone, “that you have not been brawling again?”
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
So – I think I promised you all Chapter 14 sometime today, and here it is, polished and ready for reading! Here’s hoping that those of you celebrating Christmas today got all the things you wanted and that you get to celebrate with people you care about.
As per usual, the chapter has been posted on Ao3 and comments, kudos, likes, and reblogs are much appreciated!
To the Upper Air: Chapter 14 – Truce and Truth
He was getting too old to be running about London, but Hennessey
would never be too old, he thought privately, to be amused at the look
on James’ face when Hennessey startled him.
Both men in the room
had jumped to their feet when the Admiral entered the room. It was
instinct on James’ part, ingrained in him after over twenty years in the
Navy, though Hennessey noticed that he was slow in doing so, not out of
laziness but out of pain. He winced as he stood, Hennessey noticed –
the left knee if he was any judge, and he waved a hand.
“Sit down,” he snorted. “We’re not on the parade ground. James -” He stopped, looking James up and down. The Boy –
Well,
it wasn’t the worst bruising he had ever seen but that was hardly a
recommendation. Hennessey felt a sinking sensation in his stomach as he
looked at his injured protegé. He barely restrained the urge to rake a
hand over his hair, amusement fading to worry and slight irritation, and
sighed instead.
“Please tell me,” he said in a patient, if somewhat exasperated tone, “that you have not been brawling again?”
James shook his head.
“No, sir. Not this time,” he answered, and Hennessey looked him up and down again skeptically.
“A runaway carriage, then?” he demanded, and James shook his head.
“No, sir.”
“Well something has clearly gone wrong,” Hennessey said. “Christ, Boy – what the blazes happened?”
“Someone tried to kill him.” The sentence came from the shorter man in the room, and Hennessey turned his attention to him.
“What?”
“I was there, fortunately. You know, Admiral – I’d assumed you’d be taller, somehow.”
Hennessey raised an eyebrow, staring at the walking head of curls that had just spoken.
“I’m sorry to disappoint, Mr. -?”
“His name is John,” James said, interrupting the conversation. “And he needs to give us the room. If you would, please?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” John No-Name replied. “I thought I’d -”
“Come
with me?” Another voice sounded from behind Hennessey, and he turned to
find Thomas Hamilton standing in the doorway. “Yes, I couldn’t possibly
agree more. Admiral – a pleasure seeing you. I believe you have
business to resolve with James, correct?”
“I believe I have
business with both of you, and you in particular, Lord Hamilton, if I
find that you are in any way responsible for whatever mess Captain
McGraw has managed to land in this time,” Hennessey answered, and heard
James snort behind him. “Don’t laugh,” he warned. “I may not have the
heart to charge you with disturbing the peace, but so help me -”
“We won’t go far,” Thomas promised.
“We
won’t go anywhere,” John argued. “I’ve just told you someone tried to
kill him, and you want to threaten him? What the fuck -?”
He was
cut off mid-sentence as Lord Hamilton grabbed hold of his sleeve firmly,
towing him out of the room. He’d clapped one hand over the shorter
man’s mouth, Hennessey noticed, and the look in John’s eyes turned
indignant. He struggled a bit as he was dragged away. He turned his head
backward and forward in an attempt to escape Thomas’ hand, and
Hennessey distinctly heard a disgusted noise pass the young Governor’s
lips the moment the door thumped shut.
“Silver -!”
“Try
that again and I’ll do worse than lick,” Silver’s voice said, and the
argument faded away. Hennessey looked at James with one eyebrow raised,
and James gave him a stern expression by way of answer. There would be
no argument on this score, clearly, and Hennessey gave it up with a
shake of his head.
“You had best hope you’re right about him,” he said, coming closer.
“I
am,” James answered, his voice caught somewhere between resolve and
pleasant surprise. Hennessey nodded. Whatever cause he had given James
to doubt him, he would not reinforce it by questioning him any further
about his choice of partner.
“You look as if you’ve not slept in
days,” he said gruffly. “I’m pleased that you’ve decided to contact me,
but I won’t deny that I would have preferred it if you had chosen to do
so before someone elected to attempt using your face as a punching bag,
and I would further have preferred not receiving a message that simply
said, ‘come quickly, Wapping Street, will explain everything upon
arrival, J.’”
James sighed.
“I’m sorry if I startled you with my message,” he apologized, and Hennessey raised the other eyebrow.
“Apologies
are all well and good, but I believe I deserve an explanation to go
with it,” he said dryly. “Son, may I remind you that when last we spoke
-”
“I accused you of hating me. Yes. I’m -” James swallowed. “I’m sorry for that as well. Sir -”
He stopped again, looking at Hennessey, something both hopeful and slightly apprehensive in his expression.
“Sir,” he started again, “I’m aware that we need to have a conversation – a long one, but not at this moment. Right now -”
Hennessey
normally did not make a practice of cutting off his ward’s sentences.
He had always believed that reasoned discourse was the result of both
parties listening to one another, but on this occasion, he could not
contain his impatience, or the irritation that welled up in him at his
son’s attempts to dodge the question. This was not like James, and he
was going to get to the root of the matter, here and now, before they
could further damage their relationship through lack of communication.
“This
may be the only time we have where neither of us are surrounded by
those who would seek to use who you are and what you are against us.
Furthermore, you are scheduled to sail for the Bahamas any day. If we
are going to have a conversation, then I would say that we had better
have it now.”
James did not quite wince, but the look on his face
told Hennessey that his point had been made, and that James had indeed
been trying to dodge the underlying issue that still lay between them.
“James,” Hennessey said quietly, “talk to me, lad. Where is all this coming from?”
James
looked at him for another moment, and then swallowed hard. He had come
to a decision of some kind, although what decision Hennessey was not
certain.
“It’s going to sound mad,” he warned, and Hennessey rolled his eyes.
“Worse,
I suppose, than you telling me that I’ve betrayed your trust in some
way and then refusing all contact for weeks on end and contacting me
when you’ve apparently been set upon?”
James sighed.
“Yes,” he answered, and Hennessey raised an eyebrow.
“I somehow doubt it. Say on. Let’s have it out in the open and be done.”
“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
***************************************
Windsor:
Mama was proving hard to find.
Abigail
sighed, foiled once again. Her mother was not in her rooms. She was not
in the study, or the parlor, or the drawing room. She was not in the
library, or the kitchens. She was not even in Papa’s study, empty though
it had been for the past weeks.
Aunt Miranda was still in the
house. Abigail knew that much. There would have been some kind of
goodbye – at least a hug and a kiss before she left. If Mama was not in
her own rooms – perhaps she was in Aunt Miranda’s room?
The little
girl turned, her short legs taking her down the corridor with
surprising speed. Aunt Miranda would know where Mama was, and if she
didn’t, Abigail could always ask her for a story, or convince her to
play. Aunt Miranda was –
“-you’re certain about this?”
Mama’s
voice came around the corner, and Abigail smiled. There they were! She
hurried along, and stopped at the door, preparing to knock.
“Yes, Kitty.” Aunt Miranda’s voice issued from the room, but she did not sound happy. “I’m sure.”
“Well,” Mama said, “you certainly look the part. I only hope no one in the house recognizes your face.”
“They won’t,” Miranda assured her. Abigail frowned. The part? What part? She rose to her tiptoes and looked through the keyhole.
Mama and Aunt Miranda were standing in front of a mirror. Mama looked perfectly normal, but Aunt Miranda –
Abigail
wrinkled her nose. What was Aunt Miranda wearing? It looked all frumpy
and boring, not at all like her normal finery. Was she playing dress-up?
Aunt Miranda was too grown-up to be playing, surely?
Mama did not look happy. Abigail could see her face, complete with furrowed brows and pursed lips.
“Kitty,” Aunt Miranda tried. “I realize that you are not pleased about this. I will be careful, I promise you.”
Mama waved her hand.
“It’s
not that,” she said. “Let’s be truthful – this isn’t even the most
insane plan you’ve ever had. Just -” She shook her head. “God, if I get
my hands on Peter, I’ll have his head,” she murmured. “To get caught up
in all of this and not tell me -” Mama shook her head. “I’m sorry, Miranda.”
Miranda turned and gave Abigail’s mother a smile.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she answered. “I’m sorry to have dragged you into all this, but -”
“It’s
the least I could do,” Kitty said firmly. “We had better get you on
your way. Her Grace will have repaired the damage to her wardrobe by now
and be on her way to the Admiral’s residence. What are you planning on
doing if they are keeping Captain McGraw as a prisoner?”
Miranda shook her head.
“I’ll
decide that when I come to it,” she answered. “I want to hear their
conversation, and then I would like a look at the Admiral’s papers if I
can manage it.”
“Millie is waiting – the carriage will drop you both off a street or so away. If I can help at all -”
“I’ll be certain to tell you. If you haven’t heard from me by tonight -”
“I’ll contact Thomas.”
Abigail
started. They were coming toward the door – toward her, and she was now
very certain that this had been a conversation that was not meant for
the ears of little girls. She backed away along the hall, taking to her
heels and running the moment she was out of eyesight, but as she ran,
she could not help remembering what she had just overheard and be
worried. Mama and Aunt Miranda had been afraid, she thought. They had
both had those funny looks on their faces like Mama often did when
someone important was coming and Father hadn’t warned her, and she had
never seen such a look on Aunt Miranda’s face before, all hard and
determined and still scared underneath it. What if -?
Mama and
Aunt Miranda, she told herself, were adults. They could handle anything –
anything at all, just like Father, and besides, Aunt Miranda was smart.
She could take care of herself.
Except that she hadn’t, had she?
Abigail had seen her aunt’s face when she had arrived, and now it
sounded as if other people were in trouble. And Mama had looked so
worried, as if –
“If you haven’t heard from me by tonight,” Aunt
Miranda had said, but what if she got in trouble and needed help
immediately? What if -?
She turned directions abruptly. Mama would
not approve, she thought, but Mama had a lot on her mind at the moment,
and if Aunt Miranda needed her, then Abigail would go. She had helped
once already. She could do it again. She took off running, heading for
the carriage. There was not much room under the carriage seat, but
Abigail was not that much bigger than a picnic basket, and she could
surely still fit, for Aunt Miranda.
**************************************
London, Lodging House on Wapping Street:
He was shaking when he emerged from the room.
He closed the door behind himself, still breathing hard. He had to think. He had to have space to –
“Admiral?”
Thomas Hamilton’s voice sounded, worried, from across the room, and
Hennessey ignored it. Dear God – what he had just heard –
“Admiral?”
The voice sounded closer, and Hennessey looked up, finding the younger
man standing by him now, his expression full of concern. “Are you well?”
Hennessey shook his head. No. No he was not alright. He might
never be alright again after what he had just been told. God’s bones, he
–
“He’s told him,” the voice of the shorter man – Silver – said grimly. “Get him a glass of water or something. Quickly!”
Silver
sat down next to him, and Hennessey realized quite suddenly that he
was, in fact, sitting. When the hell had that happened?
“It’s a kick in the teeth, I know,” Silver said quietly. “Do you need a moment?”
Hennessey laughed shakily.
“I may need an entirely new lifetime, Mr. Silver.” He laughed again, hollow and mirthless, and Silver sighed.
“I was afraid you might take it like this,” he said.
Hennessey
closed his eyes. This, as Silver had put it, was too much. It was too
great and too terrible to contemplate – too much to comprehend. This was
nothing short of impossibility. It was – it was –
He shuddered, his mind swimming. God and Saint Brighid, how could it be?
He was not taking this well – he knew it. James deserved so much better from him, and yet –
“You’re not going to like hearing this,”
his son had said to him, and oh, how right James had been! He had not
liked hearing it – not one bit, not when James had first told him what
had happened. He had liked it still less when James had started on his
tale, and the telling had not gotten any better, not when he described
the events of 1705 as he remembered them, nor when he described his
return from Nassau –
Not when he described the night his life had changed forever. The night Hennessey had betrayed him in the worst way possible.
It
was not possible, was it? For Hennessey to have done something so
utterly reprehensible – for James to have lived another life, entirely
separate from this one? And yet, he could not deny the change in his
son’s demeanor. In the space of a month, the boy he had known had
changed. There was no denying it. The set of his shoulders, the
difference in the way he reacted to Hennessey himself – the very fact
that he had contacted Hennessey, where before he would blithely have
bulled his way through this latest setback, offending nobles left and
right and causing trouble rather than exhibiting behavior suited to his
rank. No – it was not possible for such drastic change to have been
effected solely through a change in scenery over such a short time. Such
adjustments took years – or, the part of Hennessey’s mind that had
already accepted the notion whispered, decades. It had happened – all of
it, which meant –
He was going to be ill. He could not control
the roiling of his stomach, or the way that his mind flitted from one
thing to the next like a confused moth, lighting against lit torches
with each attempt at landing. He had betrayed James – had told him he
was a monster, and then forced him from the city he called home, from
the life that Hennessey had built for him with his own two hands, and
James had still –
“It wasn’t you, sir,” he had said quietly. “I can see that now. I
don’t know what you were thinking then – the other you, but you’re not
him. I’m sorry I -”
“Sorry?” Hennessey had choked. “You are -?” He stared at his son. “James -”
“It wasn’t you,” James repeated, and Hennessey had felt some part
of him shake apart. He understood. He knew, now, why James had looked at
him with such reproach. This – this atrocity-
“Here – take this.” Silver was handing him a glass, and Hennessey looked up, startled.
“Water,” the younger man said. “Drink it, it’ll help.”
He
was still shaking – too hard, as a matter of fact, to drink. He closed
his eyes again, taking a deep breath. He could not afford to do this –
not here, not now. He needed to –
“You said it was loathsome,”
James’ voice said, his tone quiet and still injured, still horrified.
“I stood there, and I heard you say it, and I -”
Hennessey set the drink down, the glass clinking against the table as he did so. He could not do this. He could not –
“Dear
God,” he murmured. “Dear God on High.” He was nearly weeping, he
realized. There were tears welling in his eyes, and a lump in his
throat, immovable, threatening to choke him even as he tried to swallow,
tried to force his spinning mind to order. He took a deep breath, and
then another, and when he opened his eyes, Silver was still sitting next
to him, his young face concerned, and his eyes –
Hennessey shook his head.
“Christ,
that is uncanny,” he said. He had not seen it before, but John Silver’s
eyes did not belong to a young man. They were older, wiser, and well
they should have been, for Silver was, if James’ estimate was to be
trusted, older than Hennessey himself.
“I know,” Silver said with a half smile. “Trust me, it took me off guard the first time I caught sight of myself too.”
“I’m sure it did,” Hennessey murmured. “My God!”
Silver nodded.
“You believe us, then?” he asked, and Hennessey gave a minute shake of his head.
“I don’t know what to believe, Mr. Silver. I’ve heard James’ tale and I -”
Silver’s eyes narrowed.
“You what?” he asked, and Hennessey shook his head again.
“I
have little option but to trust him,” he answered at last. “Whatever he
has seen – whatever you have seen – your mutual conviction in the
matter renders the question academic. You believe in what you have seen,
and so I must either declare you both delusional, which I find highly
unlikely, or I must believe what you both tell me – that you have
returned from the near future through means unknown to presumably alter
the past – is true, in which case -”
Silver’s expression shifted
subtly. He was watching Hennessey – watching, the Admiral realized, the
same way a cat would watch a large dog, not in fear of its life, but
with a view to taking it down a peg or two if necessary.
“I would hope,” he said quietly, “that the trust your son has just shown you will be repaid.”
Hennessey
nodded. Ordinarily, he might have bristled. He most definitely would
have resented the threat implicit in the other man’s words, but not
today. Not after what James had just told him – what that other version
of himself had done. This –
This had to change. He took one more
deep breath, closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he had
regained his balance. James had been given ample reason to distrust him,
as had Silver and Lord Hamilton, and now he at least knew where James’
fear of him stemmed from. He had not caused this, but he would need to
prove himself, regardless. He stood, and felt every bit of his age as he
did so.
“Mr. Silver,” he said, “how long has it been since any of you slept or ate?”
Silver gave him a considering look.
“Yesterday,” he answered, and Hennessey nodded.
“I
suspected as much,” he answered. “I’ve a carriage waiting outside which
should fit the four of us, given that neither you nor Lord Hamilton
have any more substance to you than the stair railing. I will speak to
my driver, and then you will all accompany me to my home, since Lord
Marlborough and his brother have eyes and ears everywhere else. You will
all rest and be fed and I will see if I can contact Ned Russell, whom I
suspect will be very interested in Lord Alfred’s business dealings.”
“Russell?”
Thomas asked from behind them, and Hennessey turned to find both Thomas
and James standing in the doorway, Thomas looking both surprised and
considering, and James simply looking at him apprehensively, clearly
still not certain as the reception of his news.
“He’s hated the
Churchills for years,” Hennessey answered. “George in particular edged
him out of his position with the Navy, and he’s always suspected that
Marlborough helped frame him for the 1696 attempt on the King’s life. If
anyone will be willing to act, it is he.”
“I – thank you, sir. I hardly dared ask -”
“You’re welcome,” the Admiral answered quietly.
Thomas
looked surprised, and Hennessey heaved a sigh. Here was yet another
thing that would need to be mended, and quickly. He looked at the young
lord again – at Thomas again, and allowed himself to see the boy
properly for the first time. If what James told him was true –
Hennessey
could not quite suppress the shame that washed over him at looking at
Thomas Hamilton. His reasons for suspecting the young lord’s motives had
been valid ones, but standing here, in a lodging house that was as far
removed from his normal milieu as it was possible to be, the boy looked
less like a young noble and more like a man full-grown – one that, in
another life, had walked into hell willingly to save James and his wife,
one who now stood, tired and rumpled, quite obviously worried for Lady
Miranda and James and fully involved in handling this latest mess, not
ensconced in his study or holding a salon, feigning a lack of concern to
avoid appearing weak, as his father would have done. One hand rested on
James’ shoulder reassuringly, and the other seemed to be helping to
keep him upright, firmly clenched on the doorframe, his entire form
conveying the sort of weariness that Hennessey was well familiar with,
having handled it himself too many times to count. This was not Alfred’s
eldest son and heir, but a different breed altogether, and Hennessey –
He had an apology to make. A rather large one.
“Lord Hamilton – we have much to discuss,” Hennessey said. “For now, I will simply say that I am sorry. I’ve misjudged you.”
James’ eyes widened. Thomas startled, and the older man gave them both a rueful smile.
“I
still have two eyes in my head and I am not deaf yet, despite all the
cannonfire,” he said. “When I sent James to you, it was in the hope that
the responsibility and the honor of the position would steady him.
Whatever else has gone between you, he seems to have gotten it into his
head that he is not without the option of calling for reinforcements,
and I gather I have you to thank for that, at least in part. So, for
whatever it is worth – my thanks, and I hope that we may learn to work
together if not perhaps like one another just yet. Truce?”
He extended a hand, and Thomas came forward, his face still a study in shock as he took the proferred olive branch.
“Truce,” he agreed.
“Now.
Let us go and see what may be done to aid your lady wife and put George
Churchill back in his proper place on the dungheap.”
He turned,
heading for the stairwell, and could not quite help the smile that
spread across his face at the look of shock and dawning relief on James’
face that he caught out of the corner of his eye as he walked away.
Show Chapter | Archive of Our Own
Hey, everyone! For those of you who either don’t celebrate Christmas or who have the time to be reading fic – here’s Chapter 14!
Show Chapter | Archive of Our Own
Chapter 13 of To the Upper Air: In Which Miranda Plots, James and John chat, and We Meet Kitty Ashe and Daughter
CHAPTER 13 TO THE UPPER AIR
I’M BACK! So, after struggling with this chapter extensively and cursing
it and calling its ancestors rude names, here is Chapter 13 of To the
Upper Air, finished, complete, done. I’ll be moving onto Chapter 14 and
closer to wrapping this up soon. I’ve also got one other thing done and
waiting in the wings and more fic planned so…. comment and review and
I’ll get it all done faster! I am a feedback-based lifeform, friends. That and coffee.
Chapter 13: To Catch a Fox
She looked like a different person.
Miranda regarded the woman in the mirror before her in the mirror
critically. She looked tired, she thought. Small wonder, of course – she
had had no rest the previous night and the small amount she had gotten
upon arriving at Kitty Ashe’s home had been negligible at best. It was a
familiar look for her, one she had worn for ten years while she
attempted to run a small farm on her own. The look in her eyes, though –
that was foreign. Had she always looked so – hardened? Had her gaze
always looked like this, or was it only now – now with her husband in
danger, her lover potentially in greater danger still, and all of their
fates resting on her shoulders? She looked into her own eyes for a
moment longer. It was strangely familiar, the look on her face. If she
looked longer, she could spot the lines forming around her mouth –
familiar lines, born of frowning too often and laughing too little.
Lines that she had last seen on one of the men she loved.
James. The name put steel into her spine and hardened her resolve. It
was long past the time for regrets. She would not fail him. She
straightened, looking into her own gaze, unhappiness turning to resolve.
Enough doubts. If James could do it, then so could she.
“Lady Hamilton? Are you well?” The chambermaid that called out to her sounded anxious, and Miranda turned.
“I’m fine,” she reassured. “Do you know where Lady Ashe might be found?”
“I believe she’s downstairs in the parlor with the Duchess, Ma’am.” The answer sounded timid, and Miranda frowned.
“I’m hardly likely to bite you, Millie,” she said, and the girl’s eyes widened.
“Ma’am -?” she started, and Miranda sighed.
“Yes, I know your name,” she said. “You are a person, Millie, not an
object, and people have names. It is only right that I should use
yours.”
“Ma’am,” Millie stammered, and Miranda shook her head.
“Please let Lady Ashe and her Grace know that I will be joining
them,” she requested, and the girl dipped a curtsy and scurried down the
hall, leaving Miranda to her contemplations.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re referring to.” The Duchess’
voice was a sharp thing, Miranda thought, but she did not care – not
now, not after the night she had had.
“Do you not?” she asked. “Tell me, your Grace – exactly how much
do you stand to profit from your brother-in-law’s scheme? I will assume
that he is doing this for the money, somehow, as I presume that he was
involved somehow in dealings with my father-in-law and the man thought
of nothing else.”
“Miranda!” Kitty sounded shocked, and Miranda’s gaze flicked over to her friend.
“Kitty – tell me you had nothing to do with this, and I will
believe you,” Miranda said calmly. She could see the moment that
Katharine Ashe’s eyes narrowed. She saw her friend rake her gaze over
Miranda’s somewhat battered form – and then watched her turn her gaze on
the Duchess.
“Your Grace,” she addressed the woman directly, “is there any truth to this?”
“None whatsoever,” the Duchess answered. She turned back to
Miranda. “Lady Hamilton – you are tired. You appear to have been handled
roughly, and I will assume your accusations are -”
“Well-founded, given what I managed to ascertain from the men who
did this,” Miranda finished. “I will thank you not to pretend that I
have become unhinged, your Grace.”
“No – indeed not,” the older woman answered. She looked Miranda
over again. “Dear God,” she murmured, and Miranda raised her chin.
“This was done,” she said, gesturing to the abrasions around her
wrists, “by your brother-in-law’s men, your Grace. Will you tell me that
they were not your men too? That you have nothing to do with this?”
The Duchess closed her eyes.
“I will have George’s head for this,” she murmured. When she
opened her eyes, she was looking directly at Miranda. “Come in, Lady
Hamilton. I’m certain that Kitty can find something for you to wear, and
we will have a doctor attend to your injuries. You can tell us the
entire tale when you have had a chance to rest and recover.”
One hour and a great deal of fussing and arguing later, Miranda
stood, the abrasions on her wrists neatly salved and bandaged, and her
hair drawn into a tight bun of the sort she had worn on New Providence.
She had, against the maid’s objections, also found a dress to wear that
was serviceable rather than fashionable, and had removed all but her
wedding ring by way of jewelry. She was, she thought, altogether more
comfortable and infinitely less noticeable – which was her intention.
She did not, of course, trust the Duchess. Sarah Churchill could
protest her innocence all she liked and still Miranda would not have
believed her.
She could believe that the woman had not known about her
brother-in-law’s ambitions. She could believe that George had acted
without his brother’s permission or knowledge – that much was entirely
within the realm of possibility and even probability. The man was a
notorious thorn in the Duke’s side. What Miranda could not believe was
Sarah’s apparent willingness to throw the younger Churchill under the
carriage wheels without so much as a second thought. No. It was simply
not the way that things were done among the upper echelons. They might
squabble internally, but to throw one of them to the wolves was to risk
the pack turning on the rest of the family having gotten a taste for the
blood. Sarah knew this all too well – she of all people, who spent her
days in a delicate balancing act between her husband and her Queen.
Miranda did not believe her for two seconds – but she also could not
dismiss her. She needed assistance – that much was blindingly obvious,
and the Duchess’ aid could still prove useful, hedged with thorns though
it might prove. She’d always been a careful gardener, after all.
She stood, giving her hair one final pat before she headed out of the room. She had some pruning to do.
************************************************
James’ Lodging House, the Same Morning:
He was running out of places to look.
“James McGraw,” Hennessey muttered under his breath, “when I find
you, I am going to have you skinned. No. Nevermind that – I’ll do the
skinning m’self.”
The room was neat and clean. The bed was made. The clothing was
folded and James’ effects hung on hooks or sat tucked away in his sea
chest, and the man himself –
“I’ve told you, Sir, Captain McGraw hasn’t been here since the day before yesterday!”
The landlady’s voice carried up the stairwell, and Hennessey pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Yes, Mrs. Pritchard,” he said. “I may be old but I am not deaf. I
heard you the first time. Would you happen to have any notion where he
might be?”
“No, sir. And now, once again, I will ask you to leave the Captain’s rooms. God alone knows what he would say about -”
He allowed the landlady to prattle on as he sunk down into one of the
chairs in James’ room, his eyes taking in the room. If not here, and
not at the Hamiltons’ residence, then where the hell had the man gotten
to? The thought sent a jolt of fear running through him. James had left
his residence. He was not to be found at his lovers’ home. What if -?
The fear was a relatively new feeling for Hennessey. He considered
himself a plain man – not given to either small talk or gossip, and
certainly not in any way fond of games, whether they were political or
personal. He detested being left in the dark more still, and the past
two weeks had been an exercise in patience in the face of a complete and
utter lack of communication, brought on by he knew not what. It was
infuriating. It was extremely confusing. It was –
It was horrifying.
He had hurt James. The knowledge gnawed at him, tearing him
to shreds with each new day he heard nothing from his son. He had gone
over their conversation over and over again in his head, and the
conclusion that he had come to was not a pleasant one. He had hurt
James, by word or deed, and he had evidently done it so many times that
the boy had come to the inevitable conclusion that Hennessey hated him.
The raw pain and confusion and anger in James’ voice had tied his
stomach in knots and featured in more than one nightmare since that
night. And for him to be missing now –
He shook off the thought. He was not going to start recriminating
himself all over again – not here, not right now. James was in London
somewhere, and whatever Hennessey had done to make his son doubt him,
now was the time to start making amends. If he could find James, he
would make this right, and he would find him. Perhaps he was aboard his ship.
“Mrs. Pritchard,” he called. “If you would be so kind, please tell my
driver our destination has changed. I’ll be heading to the docks.”
“Sir! Sir!”
The sound of a boy’s voice stopped him in his tracks and he turned.
“Sir!” the boy repeated, and Hennessey held up a hand.
“Easy,” he ordered. “Get your breath back.” He waited until the lad
had stopped panting, and then nodded. “Now. The message, slowly if you
please.”
“You’re to meet Captain McGraw, sir. He sent me – “
He brandished a piece of paper, and Hennessey snatched it from his hand and read it over.
“Wapping Street?” he murmured. “What the devil-? Nevermind, I’ll find out myself. Was there any further message?”
“Yes sir. Said to come quickly sir and not bandy it about too much.”
Hennessey closed his eyes.
“If that noble brat of his has gotten him into trouble, I will -” He
opened his eyes and shook his head. “You’ve done well, lad.” He dug into
one pocket and produced a few coins, handing them over to the boy,
whose eyes widened. “Go on. Back to wherever you came from,” he said,
and the boy nodded.
“Yes sir!”
Hennessey turned, heading for his carriage and Wapping Street.
“James, what in God’s name -?” he muttered.
**********************************************************
“So – you have an admiral for a father?”
James turned.
“For all intents and purposes – yes,” he repeated, and quirked one
eyebrow at the look on John’s face. “What?” he asked. “You didn’t think
I’d sprung fully formed from the sea, able to sail a ship did you?”
The shorter man gave him a smirk.
“I’ll confess, the thought had crossed my mind.”
James raised one eyebrow.
“Tell me – when this thought crossed your mind – just how delirious were you?”
He laughed, but in all seriousness, the thought had in fact occurred
to him. The thought of James having a parent – any parent, even an
adoptive one – was foreign – unimaginable, somehow. If he had been asked
when he had first come aboard Flint’s ship where he thought the man had
sprung from, he might have guessed the depths of the ocean itself.
Flint had appeared to him to be a god of sorts – a vengeful, clever, and
entirely merciless one, Poseidon himself perhaps, risen from beneath
the waves. He had been aboard the Walrus for several months before he
had started to see glimpses of the man beneath the sea-god, and that man
had been compelling all on his own, for all that John had been forced
to add deeply wounded to the list of Flint’s traits as a result. In the
wake of James’ confessions regarding his past, he had been forced to
reevaluate, but the war had taken precedence, as had other developments
in his life around the same time. He had speculated briefly about the
man that James had mentioned perhaps twice in all the time that John had
known him – the man, he said, that had taken him in and taught him most
of what he knew about sailing and then cast him out. John had started
to speculate once or twice about the man and inevitably been distracted
by the incongruous image of a young James, entirely devoid of the
snarling bitterness that plagued his friend as an adult. He had formed a
picture of Hennessey in his head that was, he suspected, inaccurate at
best.
“So what is he like?” he asked, and James gave him an amused expression.
“You’ll meet him soon enough,” he answered, and John rolled his eyes.
“And some help that will be,” he answered. “I’d like to know
something about the man before you bring him here. What should I
expect?”
They had elected to bring Hennessey to them rather than the other way
around. After speaking with Thomas and John, James had reluctantly
agreed, giving way when John pointed out the likelihood of the walls
having rather large ears in Hennessey’s office. Thomas had gone out and
fetched a doctor for James’ knee and bruised head, and then they had
settled in, waiting, with James firmly encouraged to sit down and stay
off the injured leg, grumbling all the while.
“You know James?” Thomas asked, answering John’s question, and John
raised an eyebrow. “Imagine him, but older and less impulsive.”
“Thomas – Ah! Be careful, damn it!” James glared down at the
doctor who had just finished wrapping his injured knee. The man looked
up, unimpressed, and John once again repressed a grin. Oh, how nice it
was to see that look directed at someone other than him for a change!
“You’re the one that took it into your head to sprain your knee,” the doctor scolded, and James’ scowl deepened.
“I did not take it into my head to -” he started, and winced
again as the doctor wrapped the bandage just a touch too tight,
immediately murmuring half-hearted apologies. Of course, given the
source, it was hardly surprising.
“There,” John Howell said, exasperation leaking into his voice. “God
knows you’ll only manage to do it again the moment I turn my back but
for the moment it’s stable. I suppose it’s too much to ask for you to
stay off of it for a day or two to give it time to heal?”
“Probably,” John piped up from the corner, and Howell rolled his eyes.
“Of course,” he muttered. “You’ll receive my bill by post, and so help me, if I find press gangs anywhere near my residence -”
“You won’t,” James answered, still scowling. “Christ.”
“Good,” Howell said firmly. “Good day, gentlemen. Captain.” He donned
his hat. “I swear – if it’s not one leg injury it’s another,” he
muttered on his way out the door, and John turned, staring after him,
startled. Had he just said -? Thomas opened it for him, and went through
after, following him down the stairs.
John turned to James, and they shared a look between them.
“Do you think -?” James started to ask, and John raised an eyebrow.
“I truly don’t know,” he answered.
“Why else would he have mentioned leg injuries? And press gangs?”
James asked, and John shrugged helplessly. They looked at each other for
another moment, and then James sniggered.
“The poor bastard,” John said, his voice choking with suppressed laughter, and James snorted.
“I wondered why he was being so bloody rough,” he said wryly. “Do you think he remembers everything?”
“I really hope not,” John answered, and stopped. James was looking at
him, and he shot him a grin, hoping to cover the moment. “You never did
answer me about the Admiral,” he said, and James shook his head.
“No,” he said, “I didn’t. And you never answered my question from this morning.”
“What? You still don’t know where we are?” Silver asked lightly, and James gave him a look.
“You know that’s not the one,” he said, and Silver went still.
He had known this was coming. Still – here it was and he was no more
ready for it now than he had been that morning when he’d been blindsided
by the revelation that James no longer remembered the past fifteen
years, and how in the fuck was he supposed to -?
He blew out a breath. There was no avoiding it, and no point in doing
so. He’d survived a leg amputation. Surely he could survive this.
“You really want to know?” he asked, and James nodded.
“You’re not going to like it,” he warned, and James rolled his eyes.
“Stop prevaricating and get on with it,” he answered, and John grimaced.
“Alright,” he answered moving to sit on the arm of a nearby chair as
James leaned forward, his eyes still fixed on his former quartermaster.
“Well?”
“I’ll tell you what,” John answered, and James groaned. “I’ll give you an answer for an answer.”
“You want to play f-bloody games even now?” he asked, and Silver
couldn’t help the twitch of his mouth at one corner at the bitten off
profanity.
“That’s still odd,” he said.
“What is?”
“You, behaving yourself.”
James snorted.
“So were the looks the first time I slipped up in public,” he answered, and John gave a huff of laughter.
“I’m sure. So – what do you say? A question for a question?”
“Are you going to answer or are you going to spin some bullshit
story?” James demanded, but there was no real rancor behind it, and John
marveled once again at the difference.
“I swear, on whatever you please, no lies.”
“Quickly,” James muttered, “notify the papers. Judgment Day has come!”
John grinned, and sat back.
“You ask first,” he offered, and James gave him a long look.
“How long has it been for you?” he asked, and John took a deep
breath. Of course. Of course he would go for the meaningful, important
question right off.
He’d forgotten what this was like – talking with James, but the more
he did it, the more he recalled. There was a trick to this, he recalled
now – a fun one, as it happened.
“How long since what?” John asked in return. “How long since I’ve
eaten? Too long. That apple was an hour ago. Speaking of which – you
know, I don’t know if I’ve actually seen you eat anything at all today.
Have you?”
James gifted him an unimpressed expression.
“How long?” he repeated, and John sighed. He was rusty at this
particular trick, or James had gotten more persistent without the grief
that had fueled his anger, or a bit of both. Or maybe he was just tired.
“Since I’ve seen you, or since the bits of our shared history that you remember?” he asked, and James frowned.
“What’s the difference?” he asked, and John gave a mirthless laugh.
“About ten years, give or take,” he answered. “I got tired of
trailing around, watching you drink yourself into a stupor and trying to
convince you it was worth it to get off your ass and live.”
James winced, and John shrugged.
“You asked,” he said, and James ran a hand through his hair. He
looked downward, visibly trying to decide whether he dared get up and
pace, and John rolled his eyes.
“Oh, don’t get like that,” he said, and James looked at him,
startled. “I know what you look like when you’re about to do something
stupid. That much hasn’t changed.”
James’ grimaced.
“I’m sorry -” he started, and John shook his head.
“You know, if you keep that up I might get used to it,” he said. “The
apologizing, that is. It’s still strange as fuck, I hope you know
that.”
James’ expression turned what John could only describe as stricken, and John sat back, dismissing the conversation.
“My turn,” he said. “You’re an Admiral’s brat. Tell me how that happened.”
“Correction,” James answered. “I’m a carpenter’s brat that got lucky
enough to have an Admiral take me in when my father died because I was
onboard his ship and constantly in his way. He couldn’t ignore me, so he
took me on as a servant, in part as a sort of penance for getting my
father killed. John -”
“Oh now you remember my name,” John said. “Let it go, James, for
fuck’s sake. The Admiral. You mentioned him, when you told me what
started you on the path to becoming Captain Flint, but you never
mentioned who he was to you. Why hide it?”
James shook his head. He was still looking at John strangely, as if
he wanted to say something more, but he let it go, silently acquiescing
to John’s request, and John felt relief wash over him. Not as rusty as
he’d feared, then.
“Two questions,” James objected, and Silver rolled his eyes.
“Fine,” he said. “Your turn.”
“Where were you when you woke up?”
“You know where I -” Silver started, and then stopped. “Wait. You don’t know, do you? I haven’t told you that yet.”
James shook his head.
“I went to sleep the night before our first battle alongside the
Maroons,” he answered. “Somehow, you little shit, you’ve managed to get
my entire story out of me without returning the courtesy.”
John grinned.
“Not the entire story,” he countered. “I don’t know, for example, why -”
James gave him a look, and he subsided, still grinning.
“I was asleep in bed, with a rather attractive woman whose name I
could not for the life of me remember,” he answered finally. “She was
not pleased, believe me, and worse, she seemed to think I had made
certain promises. She stormed out, and I upped stakes the same day on
the off chance that there were others I had forgotten about.”
James snorted.
“That doesn’t answer the question of where you were,” he said, and Silver made a face.
“You’re irritatingly perceptive when you’re not halfway down a bottle
or trying to murder me with your eyes, you realize that?” He dragged a
hand over his face. “I was in the East End, not far from the orphanage I
grew up in. There, are you happy now?”
“So the story about the orphanage was true?” James asked, and John nodded.
“Yes.”
“And Solomon Little?”
John started, looking at him incredulously.
“You remembered that?”
James shrugged.
“You give out details of your past rarely enough that I have no trouble keeping track of them,” he said dryly.
“Who doesn’t like a bit of mystery?” John asked, and James snorted.
“Admiral Hennessey,” he answered, and John raised an eyebrow.
“Really?” he asked, and James nodded.
“I know you’ve always found me distressingly blunt,” he says. “I’ll
own I don’t bother with subtlety often, but the Admiral -” He shook his
head. “When you meet him, do us all a favor and don’t try the dancing
act. He’ll take to it even more poorly than I did when we first met.”
“Yes, and when, pray tell, was that?”
A voice sounded from the door, and John watched, bemused, as James
jumped to his feet, wincing as he did so. He turned to find a man who
could only be the Admiral standing in the doorway, his blue eyes
focusing on James.
“Perhaps,” he said, “one of you would like to tell me what the devil is going on?
**************************************************************
Windsor:
She had left the parlor when Miranda and the Duchess had begun their discussion.
It was not that she was a coward, Kitty Ashe thought. Indeed, she
liked to think that she had as much pluck as any other woman – and twice
the brains of most men, for she had learnt long ago that she did best
for herself and her only daughter when she kept out of the affairs of
her husband his associates. She was not a silly woman, but she did her
best to pretend that she was, and most of the time, she was successful.
She was not ashamed of doing so, either. She was not Miranda, with her
intrigues and her handsome young lovers and her ambition. She wished her
friend all the luck in the world and sometimes wished that she herself
possessed some of the same courage and willful disregard for opinions,
but Kitty Ashe was made of different stuff.
Or so she had thought, until Miranda had appeared on her doorstep
that morning, her clothing and hair in a deplorable state, looking as
though she had not slept the night before, telling Kitty she had been
set upon by agents of the Churchills. She had been shocked – until she
had caught sight of Sarah Churchill’s expression, and felt a cold chill
travel down her spine. It was true, she realized – true enough for Sarah
to look at Miranda with a look that spoke of calculations and
collateral damage and the sort of dealings that Kitty had so carefully
sequestered herself away from in the past. She wanted nothing to do with
this – with any of this, and yet –
“-just as horrified by this as you are, Lady Hamilton, I assure you,”
the Duchess was saying. “If you will accompany me to George’s
residence, I assure you -”
“You don’t seriously believe that I will agree to that,” Miranda
scoffed. “Perhaps I was not clear, your Grace. I spent part of this
morning confined to a carriage, headed for what I can only presume is
your brother-in-law’s residence, after being accosted the night before
and threatened with the death of one of our oldest servants if I did not
comply. I hardly think -”
“George would never attempt anything so foolhardy in my presence,”
Sarah answered calmly. “My presence would be protection enough against
-”
Kitty did not listen any further.
“I’ll have George’s head for this,” Sarah had murmured, and Kitty had
understood. Worse – she knew what Sarah would do, if given the chance.
She hoped and prayed that Miranda had also understood. She knew her
friend for a shrewd woman, but if it came to a threat to her husband –
There were those, she thought grimly, who thought her and Miranda
peas in the same pod – who looked at her, and looked at her friend, and
saw only two silly women, one of whom had more of a taste for gossip
than the other. There were those who mistook Miranda’s dalliances for a
lack of care for Thomas. They could not have been further from the
truth, and Kitty feared what Miranda would prove willing to do to
safeguard him. Then, too, she had seen the way both Miranda and Thomas
looked at the Naval officer they had become fast friends with. She knew
that look – fondness, mixed with a sort of pride and comfortable
understanding. She had felt that way about Peter once, and she
understood what it meant when she heard his name through the door where
she stood.
“And Captain McGraw?” her friend asked. “If he is dead, or injured –
what will you do about that? Do you intend to hold your brother-in-law
to account for that, your Grace, or only for his crimes against me and
my husband?”
Yes, Kitty reflected – she knew Miranda, and she knew what her friend
would do for either of her men, and that was a truly excellent reason
for Kitty herself to reluctantly dip her foot in the waters of intrigue
once again. Miranda would be making no foolish decisions on her watch.
She straightened, turning to her daughter.
“You remember what I asked?”
Abigail nodded quickly.
“Yes, Mama.”
“Good girl. This once only, and then never again, do you understand?”
Abigail nodded again, and Kitty nodded, opening the door to the study.
Both women were on their feet. Good. She was just in time.
“Aunt Miranda!” The little girl leapt forward, and Miranda turned, startled.
“Abigail!” She opened her arms almost automatically, and the girl
flung herself forward to be duly hugged and kissed, and then wriggled
free, turning to the Duchess.
“Your Grace,” she greeted, dipping a quick curtsy, and Kitty saw the Duchess’ startled expression turn to polite amusement.
“Lady Abigail,” she greeted, and Kitty’s daughter giggled at the formal address.
“I’m not a lady,” she answered, and the Duchess gave her a mock startled expression.
“Why – is there another little girl in the house that looks so much like your mother? Am I speaking to Miss Abigail Ashe?”
Abigail giggled again.
“Yes, your Grace.”
“Well, then – Lady Abigail it is.” The Duchess sat down again,
inviting Abigail to come and join her on the chaise with a pat. “Now,
Lady Abigail -”
She cut off abruptly, giving a strangled gasp. Abigail stood, a
horrified expression on her face, staring at the wine that had spilled
onto the Duchess’ gown, knocked over as Abigail had come closer, her
hand having brushed against the glass.
“Your Grace -!” she started, and the older woman stood, reaching for a napkin.
“Oh – this is silk, it will never come out -”
Kitty brushed through the door, taking hold of Abigail.
“Go,” she instructed her daughter, and Abigail nodded, her task
complete. She ran from the room, and Kitty moved immediately to the
Duchess. “Your Grace,” she said. “A thousand apologies. Please, come
with me. My maid, Mary, does wonders with stains but she’ll need to wash
this immediately. Please -”
She ushered the still sputtering Duchess into the hands of the
chambermaid and waited. The sound of the woman’s fussing died down after
a moment or so as she moved further away from the room, and Kitty
turned to Miranda, who sat, quite calm, watching her friend with one
eyebrow raised.
“You disapprove,” she said, and Kitty shook her head, closing the door behind herself.
“Far from it,” she answered, and Miranda frowned.
“Then why -?”
“-did I send Abigail in with instructions to make a mess?” Kitty asked archly, and Miranda inclined her head.
“It was well done,” she acknowledged, and Kitty gave her a smile.
“I rather thought so,” she answered, and sat down next to her friend. “Miranda,” she started, and Miranda held up a hand.
“No, Kitty,” she said. “Please – don’t waste your breath. I am going
to find James and extricate Thomas from this mess, one way or another.”
“I wouldn’t dream of stopping you,” Kitty answered. “But I would
prefer it if you didn’t call down the wrath of God on yourself in the
process. Miranda – you know who she is. You know -”
Miranda’s eyes went hard, and Kitty stopped.
“I know,” Miranda said quietly, “that she is part of a plan that
would have seen me taken from my home, my husband treated as a pawn on a
chessboard, and any progress we have made toward real change in the
Bahamas reversed in a heartbeat. And I know that until she is stripped
of her ability to maneuver in court circles, none of us will ever be
safe.”
“None?”
Kitty’s question caught Miranda off-guard, and she stopped, looking at her friend.
“You know about James,” she said. It was not a question, but Kitty nodded.
“Yes.” Miranda swallowed hard and closed her eyes, and Kitty could
not resist. She reached out a hand and placed it on Miranda’s, squeezing
it comfortingly.
“He’s a very handsome man,” she said softly. “And a well-spoken one.” Miranda opened her eyes, and gifted her a watery smile.
“He is,” she answered. “I suspect that he is -” She stopped, and Kitty felt a cold chill go through her.
“Miranda? What’s happened?” she asked, and Miranda looked downward, biting one lip.
“He did not come home last night,” she said finally. “There was no
warning. No note, and it is extremely unlike him. I’m afraid -”
“You think she has him,” Kitty said, and Miranda nodded.
“He’s that important to you, then?” she asked, and Miranda nodded.
“More important than you can possibly imagine,” she answered, and
Kitty frowned. There was something odd in her friend’s voice – something
older than her thirty one years, and that something was tired and, she
realized abruptly, very, very angry.
“You want him back. You want answers, and you want Thomas to be safe,” she summarized, and Miranda looked up, eyes blazing.
“Yes.”
Kitty nodded.
“Very well, then. Do you think the Duchess is sufficiently angry yet?”
Miranda started, staring at her, and Kitty gave her a wry grin.
“I may not play the Game very often, but I know what it looks like
when someone else is doing it,” she said. “You had her halfway to
slapping you, I think.”
“I was rather hoping she would, actually,” Miranda confessed. “I
would have more leverage that way, and I would be sure she would go.”
“I think the wine may have done it,” Kitty said. “We may as well
spare your face. How are you planning on getting into the Admiral’s
residence without being recognized?
Miranda stared for another moment, and then she smiled, hesitant, but sincere.
“I’ve chosen the right house, it appears,” she said, and Kitty squeezed her hand again.
“You’ve seen me through a great deal,” she answered. “It’s only fair that I return the favor. What can I do to help?”
Miranda looked at her wordlessly for a moment and then reached out,
wrapping her arms around her friend and holding on for a moment,
gratitude and relief in the warmth of her embrace. She pulled back after
a moment, and met Kitty’s gaze, determined and focused once again.
“I shall need to speak to your servants.”
Show Chapter | Archive of Our Own
Chapter 13 of To the Upper Air: In Which Miranda Plots, James and John chat, and We Meet Kitty Ashe and Daughter
Show Chapter | Archive of Our Own
In case anyone missed it – Chapter 12 is up! Here it is!
So, I Oopsed
The holiday came and went, and with it at least one appointment I had meant to keep and completely forgot about. In order to distract myself from the part of me that’s banging pots and pans in my head and chanting “You fucked up, you fucked up, You Fucked Up, YOU FUCKED UP!” I’m posting this chapter before the next one’s ready. As usual, the update’s also available on Ao3, and I really, really adore comments and kudos (they make me write faster. I swear, they do – for some reason feedback equals writing).
The rest of the parts are here on Tumblr.
Chapter Twelve: Where the Tall Fig Tree Grew
John Silver, Thomas thought, was not at all what he had expected.
He was not sure what to make of him – this man that had, from what James had said, attempted to put together what was left of James after Miranda’s death. This man, who had faced torture and death and come out the other side more serious and infinitely more stubborn and loyal to James and his crew to the point of lunacy. When James had described his quartermaster, he had painted quite a picture. The man, he had said, was quick and clever – an opportunist of the first caliber. Now that Thomas had met him, he could think of several other appellations. Mercurial, came to mind, as did infectiously cheerful and, well – slippery little shit. James, he thought, had possibly understated that part a bit, but then James had not been in the position of being raked over the proverbial coals by the man.
He was younger than Thomas had expected, and older all at the same time. The latter, he attributed to the simple fact that John Silver, like James and Miranda, was not entirely what he seemed. He had, it seemed, come back in time as well, although from what time, Thomas was not altogether sure. There was something in his eyes – something darker, somehow, and more weary than he had seen from anyone other than James, who had apparently spent the past ten years from his own point of view perpetually exhausted. Silver covered it well – his grin was a brilliant, distracting thing. It demanded attention, drawing Thomas’ gaze away from the man’s eyes, and yet it was his eyes that told the real story.
“How far back is this, for you?” he asked, and saw Silver miss a step.
“What?” he asked, and Thomas raised one eyebrow.
“It’s obvious enough,” he said. “You talk about James in the past tense. You say that he never said much about me – as if you hadn’t had the chance to press him for quite some time, whereas when he speaks of you, it’s in the present. If you spoke to him regularly, you would have said that he never says much. Therefore – you are from further in the future than he. Substantially further, if I’m any judge. What happened?”
John gaped, and Thomas felt satisfaction wash over him. He’d managed to shock the man. It was a small victory – a petty one, even, but he found that he could not bring himself to care. He was owed at least that much after this morning’s interrogation.
“You – Christ, he said you were fucking smart,” Silver answered, seeming to get his breath back.
“One tries,” Thomas answered dryly, and Silver flashed him another grin.
“And you’re a sarcastic bastard. We’re not so different after all.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“No, it’s not. We’re here.” Silver turned away, fumbling with the keys to the door. He frowned. “To be honest, I’d expected to find the door broken off its hinges by now,” he murmured. He looked over his shoulder at Thomas, an odd expression flickering over his face, and Thomas frowned in return.
“Mr. Silver -” he started, and then stopped, as the door opened to reveal James, who was sitting on the bed just inside the door. He rose at the sight of Thomas, and Thomas felt a wave of relief wash over him, even as his eyes took in his lover’s bruised face and weary countenance.
“Thomas.” The relief in James’ voice matched Thomas’ own.
“James,” he breathed, and moved forward. “Thank God.” He wrapped both arms around his lover, ignoring the blood and dirt staining his clothing, and felt James’ arms envelop him, holding on tightly.
“I’m fine,” he heard James murmur and he gave a huff of laughter.
“You’d say that if you were clinging onto life with one finger,” he murmured, and heard James laugh.
“So would you.”
“Yes, I expect I would. How’s the headache? John told me.”
“I’ve had worse.”
“Let me see.”
*************************************************************************
He was more relieved than he could properly have expressed to see Thomas’ face.
He had been sitting in Silver’s room for the past three hours. The headache had begun to lessen after the first hour and the nausea after the second, and yet James had not risen from the mattress, his head spinning, thoughts coming and going through his mind over and over again.
He was afraid, he had realized abruptly. For the first time since he had returned to 1705, he was petrified – truly, stomach-churningly scared. The feeling was a familiar one, but no more welcome for its familiarity than a bout of tropical fever would have been.
He had been through this before. The sense of foreboding. The realization that he was in over his head. The feeling of his stomach dropping through his boots as he understood the kind of danger he and his lovers faced. The first time had been in Admiral Hennessey’s office. He had rushed home – to the mansion he had come to think of as his home as much as the tiny room he’d inhabited before – and found –
“He’s gone,” they’d told him, and James had felt a part of him scream denial as if a part of his soul had been lopped off at the words. He could not help but wonder if he would hear the same words pass Silver’s lips when he returned – if he would once again face the prospect of losing the ones he cared about most. What if -?
Christ Jesus, what if they were already dead? Their unknown foe had already attempted to have James himself killed. What if -?
The door had opened at precisely that moment, and he had looked up to find Thomas standing in the doorway, his blond hair in disarray and his clothing in a similar state, but very undeniably alive and well, and James had shelved his contemplations, rising to his feet immediately.
“Thomas,” he murmured, and saw an expression of similar relief cross his lover’s face.
“James.”
Five minutes later, he found himself sitting once again as Thomas examined his various injuries, fussing quite ridiculously, and James attempted to shoo his fingers away from his injured head once again.
“It’s not that bad,” he insisted once again, and he could practically feel the incredulous look that Thomas shot him in response.
“Dear God, James,” he returned, examining the injury. “You’re lucky you’re not dead.”
“I’m perfectly fine,” he assured his lover again quietly. Thomas frowned.
“You bloody well are not,” he insisted. “You’ve got a lump here the size of a golf ball. How hard did they hit you?”
“Hard enough that I’d started to wonder if he was going to wake,” Silver interjected, and James turned an accusing glare on him. He snorted.
“Don’t give me that look,” he said. “The man asked. It’s not my fault if you didn’t want to tell him the truth.” The little shit had always had the most damnable timing.
“I’m fine,” James insisted.
“We’ll let the doctor be the judge of that,” Thomas answered firmly, and James distinctly saw Silver give Thomas an approving expression. James rolled his eyes.
“Fine,” he answered, giving in. “But I’m telling you -”
“At the very least he can see to your knee,” Silver interjected. “You’re not going much of anywhere on that without some kind of brace or a lot of rest.”
“Thank you,” Thomas said, gesturing to John. “If you won’t listen to me, then listen to your quartermaster,” he said, ignoring John’s startled expression.
“He’s quite right,” Thomas continued, and James sighed.
“I’ve already agreed, Thomas, there’s no need to belabor the point. Go ahead and find a doctor. I suppose it goes without saying that I want one that’s seen actual injuries before?”
“I know of one or two,” Thomas assured him.
“Good. We’ll need you functional,” Silver answered, and James shot him a look.
“Why? What’s the matter?”
Thomas shot John a look. He shrugged.
“It had to come out eventually,” he apologized, and James felt his stomach lurch. He looked between his lover and his friend, frowning despite the way it worsened the headache.
“What?” he asked. “Thomas – is Miranda -?”
“I’m sure she’s being kept safe,” his lover said.
“They wouldn’t have much leverage otherwise,” John agreed, and James turned sharply, looking at Thomas, who gave him a look of mixed misery and attempted reassurance.
“James -” he started.
“She’s been taken?” he asked, his voice gone hard, and Thomas nodded. He swallowed hard, closing his eyes for a moment before he answered, his voice suddenly rough.
“Yes. We had come out to find you. Miranda thought you might have been waylaid, so we came to either find you or offer you a ride -”
James listened to the tale, the blood roaring in his ears. The bastards had taken Miranda. He had Thomas here – one out of his two lovers, but Miranda – their Miranda – was missing, and he had been sleeping. He had been here, while she was in danger. Here, while she was forcibly dragged from a carriage and taken to God alone knew where. She was in danger, and he –
He felt ill. Miranda was missing. It was happening again, and he had not stopped it. While he had been playing at being merciful – at restraining himself in hopes that the world would relent at last- history had been repeating itself. No more. Not again – he could not do this again. He had lost her once and it had nearly destroyed him. To do so again –
The prospect was unbearable. He could feel something in his chest tighten – could feel his heart start to beat faster, his palms itching for a sword, a gun – a damn grenade, anything at all. He was going to find them. He was going to find them and rip them to fucking shreds for this.
“Who?” He ground the word out, and Thomas flinched.
“The Churchills. They left a note -”
James looked at the piece of paper that Thomas dug out of his waistcoat pocket, but did not read it. He could feel rage boiling its way to the surface of his mind again, and he did not struggle against it this time – could not. They had Miranda. They had Miranda, and they intended to use her to God alone knew what ends and he –
He was not about to let it happen.
“The Churchills,” he growled. “Lord and Lady fucking Churchill, the Duke and Duchess.” Thomas nodded.
“Yes. I don’t know what their game is, but -”
“It doesn’t matter,” James answered. He stood, looking around the room for his discarded coat, and the sword belt that accompanied it. He would need both, as well as his pistol, and possibly a visit to the local gunsmith for ammunition and a spare weapon. If he hurried, he could obtain the necessary supplies quickly and be on the road within the hour. He knew where the Churchill estate was in London – he would start there, and move on if necessary to –
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
******************************************************
The realization had hit him out of the clear blue.
He had not been expecting it. If there was anything he had not expected to take away from the morning’s events it was this. He had begun the day with a sort of giddy anticipation that had quickly turned to ash upon the realization that James did not remember much of what had gone between them. It had been one hell of a blow, that much was certain, and for a time, John had reeled from it. He had gone to Thomas’ home with that sense of wounded grief running through him – had all but accused the man of being responsible for the ills of the world in his anger and his pain. He missed James Flint – the man’s quick wit, his scheming, his breathtaking ability to command a situation – and it had taken a blow of equal magnitude to interrupt him and his knee-jerk reaction to the situation.
He had never expected to find his friend happy.
He had never seen that look on James’ face, he thought as he looked at the man from his position in the chair in the far corner. He had retreated there the moment that Thomas had entered the room – the moment that James had spotted him and they had rushed toward each other, like twin waterspouts in a storm determined to wrap around one another and form one. He had watched them embrace, had listened to them speak to each other in a low murmur, and he had stayed in his small corner of the room, watching, waiting – and slowly, incrementally, coming to a startling realization.
He had never seen James like this. Not ever – not since the first moment he had lain eyes on the man aboard the Walrus. He had seen him laugh – had seen him smile, but not like this. He had watched him with Gates, and to some extent with Miranda Barlow, and thought then that he understood what the man looked like when he was enjoying life. That, he now knew, had been a gross underestimation. The man he had seen then had been amused, or pleased with circumstances as they stood, at best, but the edge of pain and misery had not truly gone. This, though –
He watched with a sense of wonder as James smiled, mouth turned upward at both corners, his green eyes suddenly possessed of a warmth he had never seen in Flint. This was something else entirely – as if he were looking at an entirely different man, one that he had long wanted to meet but had not until just now. This James was not tired. He was not angry, or frightened – not searching for something, anything to cling to in a desperate attempt to remain human. He was not adrift as he had been at the end, drowning his demons in a bottle. He was whole, for perhaps the very first time since John had met him – happy, he understood finally, and the revelation shocked him to his very marrow, freezing him to the spot. This – was a version of his friend that he had not prepared himself for, and yet –
And yet he found that he did not mind. He had thought, this morning, that he wanted his friend back. He had mourned the man he had known – had been mourning him for years, truth be told. It had seemed like a cruel irony that he should be deposited back in time to find his friend only to find him so changed, but this –
He could sit and simply watch this all day. He had never seen James like this, but he wanted to – for the rest of their lives, if possible, and if it took losing the memory of over a decade of pain to accomplish it, he was willing to pay that price. He was not quite certain what to do with his newfound understanding – nothing at all, perhaps, save to smile to himself as he watched Thomas fuss over the dried blood in James’ hair and the corresponding bruise on his forehead from where he had hit the ground rather hard.
The look of relief and of love on James’ face –
John sat, a lump forming in his throat. He would do whatever he had to to preserve this, he realized suddenly. The look on James’ face was worth the effort, no matter the cost, and he swallowed hard, mentally tucking away the grief that had threatened to swallow him whole since that morning. This man was not the one he had known, no, and John did not care. He had James back, in a way that he had never, ever expected to, and he was not going to throw that away, whether out of guilt or through his usual attempts at manipulation. Captain Flint was gone.
Captain Flint could stay gone.
The idea had taken hold of him, and it was what led him now to stand in front of James, his blue eyes gone hard.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” he asked, and saw James startle at the sound of his voice.
“Silver -” he started, and John shook his head.
“I’m fairly sure you know my name,” he said. “You can use it instead of trying to act like we’re not friends. Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“You heard what he said. They have Miranda.”
“Yes – and? You planning on storming their private castle all by yourself?”
“I’m not going to sit here while they hurt her. I’m not going to let them use her to -”
“And how are you planning on stopping them? Do you even have a plan, or was the plan to go out of here half-cocked, with some insane idea of forcing them into giving her back all by yourself?”
James stared at him for a moment, and John rolled his eyes.
“Jesus. That was the plan, wasn’t it?”
“Well what the fuck do you want me to do?”
“I want you to stop acting like you’re on your own again! Like you’re Captain Flint again, or did you let those men live because you’ve suddenly forgotten how to use a sword?”
The words hung in the air between them, and John stood, looking at James, feeling satisfaction wash over him. There. The raging hurricane had been paused in its course. Now he had only to take the wind out of it a little further.
“You’re not without allies,” he murmured. “This isn’t 1715. This isn’t Nassau. Stop and think for a few moments, and I think you’ll see that.”
James closed his eyes, and Thomas stood, coming to stand by his side.
“It’s your decision, James,” he said quietly. “But I think on this occasion you might wish to listen to John.”
His blue eyes were troubled, John could see. He looked at James as he might have at an overly fragile piece of glass – one that might break at any second, and John abruptly wondered if this was the first time he was seeing Captain Flint. He spared a moment of sympathy for the other man and made a mental note to talk with him later, and then moved forward, his step loud and obvious. He laid a hand on James’ upper arm and another one on the other side, and looked his former Captain full in the face, meeting the other man’s gaze as his eyes opened again and fixed on John, startled.
“James,” he asked quietly. “Where are you?”
********************************************
He’d come so close to it.
It was an old, familiar sensation – the rage that filled him. It was, in its way, like coming home to an old friend. You are alone, the monster within him whispered. No one will ever accomplish this task half as well as you will. No one will ever be there when you need them. If this thing is to be done, it must be done by you, by whatever means. And for the space of two minutes, he had believed it.
Miranda, he thought, would have understood. She had felt this sensation herself – he had seen it in her eyes, there, in Peter Ashe’s dining room the night of her death. She would have understood the all-consuming rage that had filled him at the thought of her being abducted – at the thought of her being used as some kind of a pawn. She would also, he knew, have been bloody furious to find him giving in to it.
“James – where are you?” John asked, and for a moment, James had no answer for him. He was not in Nassau, that much was for certain, but that was not entirely what his former quartermaster had meant. It never was – James knew better than to think that. He had asked the question once before – during a time when James had needed to find the answer for himself as much as he did now.
He closed his eyes. He could go ahead. He could tear down half of London, find Miranda and get them all out, but –
He had been wrong before. Abruptly, he recalled his conversation with Hennessey – the look in the older man’s eyes and his own horror when he’d realized what he might have done – what might have occurred in that other life, had Captain Flint encountered the man James considered a father. He had been so thoroughly mistaken – as wrong then as he would be now to let the monster off its chain to handle with blood what James would not with words.
“He – it wasn’t what I imagined it to be at all. What if I had – Christ, what if I had done it?”
His own words came back to him, and he swallowed hard. John was right. He took a deep breath, realization and understanding coming to him all at once. He was not in Nassau. He was not the Caribbean, and this was not 1715, nor 1705 as James remembered it in his worst nightmares. He was not a pirate. He was not a murderer, or a one-man army. He was –
He was being an idiot.
The realization took some of the tension thrumming through him with it – relaxed his aching shoulders where they had bunched together, sent a wave of cold chills running down his spine. He unclenched one fist, flexing the hand and allowing it to hang at his side while he ran the other over his face. The solution to his troubles, he realized with a sense of incredulous irritation at himself, had been staring him in the face – for days, really, if he had just taken the trouble to pack away whatever juvenile stupidity had led to his refusal to take matters in hand, and with a jolt he recalled the night of Alfred’s murder and the rest of his conversation with Thomas. His lover had, as usual, hit the nail on the head.
“Still,” James started, clearing his throat, “We will let all this be a thing of the past, though it hurts us, and beat down by constraint the anger that rises inside us. Now I am making an end of my anger. It does not become me, unrelentingly to rage on.”
He heard Thomas draw in a deep, relieved breath beside him and release it shakily, his hands reaching out to grab hold of James and draw him into an embrace.
“Oh thank God,” he muttered against James’ shoulder, his voice muffled. “James -” He pulled back, and James met his eyes, then looked to John, apology in his gaze along with a plea for forgiveness.
“I’m sorry,” he offered softly. “I -”
“It’s alright,” Thomas answered. “James – it’s alright.” James nodded, grateful for the understanding being offered.
“There is a way,” he said, quietly, regretfully. “It shouldn’t involve any bloodshed. I should have seen it before, but I -”
“You were busy,” John filled in. “So – what’s the plan?” The shorter man had let go of his arms, now, and backed away, taking himself to sit on the windowsill, his feet hanging just shy of the floor, hand reaching out to snag an apple off of a nearby table, and James spared a moment to be struck by the ridiculousness of the image. Two minutes before, the man had been directly in front of him, braver than he had any right to be, facing down Flint at the height of his rage, and now –
“The plan,” he said, passing a hand over his hair, “is simple. We open that letter. We read it. We find out which Churchill we’re dealing with, and then I go and talk with Admiral Hennessey. He knows George Churchill at the very least. If it’s him, Hennessey will be more than happy to help us – he hates the man, and if it’s his brother the Duke, then Hennessey might still be able to help us turn the tables on him through his brother.”
Thomas was looking at him with an expression he could only call pride, and John was watching the pair of them, eating the apple in his hand, a look of quiet satisfaction on his face.
“There,” he said. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
James shot him a look and received a brilliant, devil-may-care grin in return.
“I’m going to go and clean up,” he muttered. “Open that letter while I’m gone, will you?” He turned and left the room, leaving the two to their own devices.
****************************************************
“That was bravely done.”
They were sitting in the room at opposite ends, with John still sitting in the windowsill and Thomas on the bed, looking more than a little weary. At the sound of Thomas’ voice, John turned, and found the other man looking at him frankly.
“Are we discussing my suicidal decision to stand between James and the door?”
Thomas gave him a look.
“You know we’re not,” he answered, and John shot him a glance.
“You’re still entirely too smart,” he said, and Thomas shrugged.
“Just too curious, I suspect,” he answered, and John laughed. “That’s what he was like, all these years?” John shook his head.
“Oh no,” he answered quietly. At Thomas’ inquisitive glance, he gave him a crooked smile.
“Much worse,” he said, and Thomas closed his eyes.
“Dear God,” he murmured. “What horrors have I wrought upon the ones I love?” He looked out the window, and John shook his head.
“You weren’t responsible,” he said, and Thomas turned back to look at him, a startled look on his face.
“That was not your opinion this morning,” he pointed out.
“Yes – I’m sorry about that,” he answered, and Thomas raised an eyebrow.
“You’re sorry?” he asked, and John nodded. “May I ask what’s changed?”
“You can ask,” John answered, and Thomas rolled his eyes heavenward as if to ask for strength. “You had that coming,” John pointed out, and Thomas snorted.
“Yes,” he acknowledged, “I suppose I did. What changed your mind?”
John sat, silent for a moment, looking out the window toward the yard, where James had just reached the water pump.
“When we spoke this morning – I was angry, not with you but because the man I had known was gone, lost to me, or so I thought. It’s only now that I am beginning to realize -” He stopped, looking at the door that James had disappeared through.
“What?” Thomas asked, and John shook his head, and when he spoke again his voice was quiet, his tone contemplative.
“How pleased I am not to find him here.”
********************************************************
He’d finally managed to get clean. It had taken some serious scrubbing, and he feared his white shirt was beyond saving, but at last his hair, his face, and his hands were free of debris from the night before. James stood, his hands resting on either side of the basin, looking downward at the water, his face still dripping. He did not move, simply allowing himself a moment to regroup.
He could not remember the last time he had felt like this.
Miranda was still in dire need of assistance. John Silver had made his way back into James’ life, and the conversation with Hennessey stood before him, promising to be both awkward and difficult, but for the first time in a very long while, James felt like his feet were on solid ground. The feeling was an intoxicating one. For the first time in eleven years, he was not grasping for a plan. He was not hanging everything on a single thread, hoping to God it would not snap. He was not reeling through life cutting down anyone and anything that got in his way. Instead, the rage demon had risen – and been denied. It felt good, and in honor of his newfound sense of wellbeing, he allowed himself one further indulgence. He closed his eyes and, facing the clear water in the basin in front of him, he opened them and looked into his own eyes.
It had been a very long time, he thought, since he had been able to do this. He studied his own features for a moment and then met his own gaze. For the first time since his exile, he did not feel the need to turn away from it. He was tired, yes, and his face needed a shave, badly, but the man looking back at him –
“Well,” James McGraw murmured. One corner of his mouth turned up and, almost experimentally, he gave himself a smile. “There you are. Nice to have you back.”
He headed back to Thomas and John with the smile still on his face.
To the Upper Air Chapter 11!
So, I requested feedback/encouragement/kudos and holy crap did you lot deliver! In honor of the fact that I’ve gotten so many lovely, lovely comments and gotten so much writing done as a result – here’s the next chapter!
As usual, the chapter’s also up on Ao3 here:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/8200756/chapters/19701670
Chapter 11: Decisions and DetenteHe had come home in a daze. The world was spinning, and Thomas’ head spun with it, his mind entirely editing out the drive as he attempted not to be ill with the fear and anger and guilt that numbed his lips and sent his stomach churning. He did not remember how he had gotten into the carriage, nor how he had gotten into the house, although he had a vague memory of Hobbs’ hands helping him in and of begging the man to check the surrounding alleyways for signs of James. He had returned and shaken his head, a look of defeat on his face.
“I’m sorry, my lord. There’s no sign of the Captain beyond -” He gestured to the hat in Thomas’ hands, and Thomas felt as though something in his stomach unclenched. He was not dead, then. He had gotten away, or been taken alive – he had to have, because Miranda was missing, and it was all coming apart, just as it had done last time, only this time it wasn’t James that had been left to pick up the pieces. This time it was Thomas, and he was not equipped for this – not ready to face a world in which both of the people he loved were gone, taken from him by forces outside of his control, and it occurred to him suddenly and horribly that James had not been either. The terror coursing through him now – was this what James and Miranda had felt the night he had been stolen from them? Was this – Dear God on High, was this what they had gone through?