Pagan works – Page 2 – Meg's Mumbles

Great, coworkers. That’s right. Have a conversation about your relatives who haven’t moved out of their parents’ house and make me feel like a piece of shit in the process. I haven’t been having enough trouble trying to reassure myself that I’m not somehow broken because I’m 27, still unattached, and living with my mother. I don’t have enough trouble trying not to feel like I’m failing in life somehow even though my mother has repeatedly reassured me that she wants me there and even though I pay my share of the bills and she’d be up shit creek with no paddle if I moved out. It’s ok. Just keep complaining about your kid who lives with you that you apparently can’t stand. Remind me why the fuck you had children if they’re apparently so inconvenient? WTF is wrong with baby boomer parents that they act like this about their children?

Dear Tuesday,

Just – just stop. Look – I get it. Monday wasn’t shitty enough to suit you. I mean – yes, I wound up spending part of last night having a cry and then sitting up reading Homer’s Odyssey until too late o’clock because crying weirdly gives me energy instead of making me tired and because that’s always been my favorite Greek epic. I realize that that technically makes it my own fault that today is going so shittily, considering that I got maybe five hours of sleep all told because of the said silly decision to read instead of crying myself to sleep like a normal person. But did we really have to start the day with me banging my head on the car roof as I got in and then continue with the endless string of emails from hell where I basically have to fix everyone’s shit since they’ve managed to fuck up the database yet again? Was it really necessary for me to be popping Excedrin this early in the day because of the headache and the leg cramp from sitting in this shitty chair? Is it strictly necessary for me to be having a please don’t talk to me I can’t handle sound day? And for today to be employee picnic day so I have to put up with people over lunch instead of getting any recharge time? Did I really have to get stuck with inferior Starbucks coffee that makes me ill because we’d run out at home? Do we really have to play like this, Tuesday?

Dear Coworkers,

I’m going to need all of you to stop walking around behind me and then standing there talking. For starters, I don’t like having people behind me in the first place. It’s a holdover, I know, but it still kind of freaks me out when people get too close and I can’t see them. Two – dammit, I’m trying to write! I can’t write semi-historical fanfic, even if it’s not smut, with you standing behind me. Nor do I feel like explaining why I’m currently looking up the history of the Jacobite movement during the late seventeenth century. Go sit at your desks and look at Facebook or whatever you people do when it’s this dead in the office.

Pagan the Exasperated and Paranoid

Yes, Coworker. That’s right. Take tomorrow off. Make me do your job. I’m not busy or anything. I’m not in the middle of one of the most time-consuming jobs I have to do all semester or anything. Nope. You take time off. It’s fine.

To all of you who are students on here:

For the love of peanut butter, please, if your school asks you to fill out a form, fill out all of it and do so in handwriting that people can read without a magnifying glass. You might be young and able to read your eighth of an inch writing, but most of the people reading your forms will not be, or might have a sight impairment. Also, that info that you leave off because you don’t feel like putting it on there? We use that for filing. Don’t make life harder by being lazy, or in a hurry, or whatever.

Dear coworker- you are complaining about other coworker not leaving you alone over lunch. In the meantime, you are doing the exact same thing to me. Shut up! I am quite clearly not up for a convo. I closed the door to indicate that I’m looking for quiet. Which part of that says open the door and stand there talking for ten minutes to you?

This is getting comical now. Coworker has reached an all-new low when it comes to double and triple-checking. She just asked me if something I put in the trash was supposed to be there or if she was supposed to do something with it. No, Coworker – it was supposed to be in the trash because the student decided she didn’t need the thing after all. Believe it or not, i know the difference between your inbox and the trash can.