Tag: I mean – ok

wildehacked:

Quandry:

I really want jack to have a boyfriend, for the following reasons: 

1) he just looks like he needs a boyfriend
2) Anne is the love of his life and he’ll be whatever she needs him to be–and she needs him to be her partner, not her husband
3) but Jack is SUCH HUSBAND MATERIAL. Like, he is going to be Anne’s life partner until they die, and he’ll be devoted to her until they die, but he also needs someone to want him–the way Anne wants Max, the want that’s not also tangled up in need. 
4) Jack clearly has enough women in his romantic life, and I feel strongly that a boyfriend would balance out his romantic and sexual entanglements with his life partner, her wife, and maybe their girlfriend, depending on what happens with Mary Read
5) Jack is just. DEFINITELY queer. 

Complication: 

I really want Jack to have THIS boyfriend in fucking particular: 

for the following reasons: 

1) “Godspeed, Charles.” 
“Fuck you, Jack.” 

2) “Charles Vane’s sacrifice is in that box. If your man is unsuccessful in seeing to his rescue, Charles Vane’s death is in that box.” *stares with red eyes at the chest full of treasure he himself nearly died for, having locked it up and thrown away the goddamn key* 

3) “I knew how you felt about him,” Anne says urgently, trying to stop Jack from getting himself killed trying to honor Charles’s fucking memory. Honestly, all of Jack’s idolization/devotion for the man, how much he cared about what Charles thought about him.

4) Charles got himself captured saving Jack, wrenching with his bare fucking hands at Jack’s shackles, so we could all see the muscles rippling in his arms. 

5) Charles is a Romantic who has finally figured out that he and Eleanor are Never Ever Getting Back Together–and he visibly flounders around trying to covertly figure out what to do with his heart. Like, should he die for Teach? Teach wants him to be his son! That’s nice! Or should he die for Flint? Flint wants him around, and Flint has a lost cause! OR WAIT—he should die for Jack and Anne, because Jack and Anne totally saved his life that time when everybody else was going to betray him, and also he’s known Jack and Anne the longest. Yes. He’ll die for Jack and Anne. (ME: CHARLES. Did you ever maybe consider kissing one of these people and seeing if that would also work to soothe the Big Romantic Tempest happening in your chest.CHARLES: No.) Anyway, Charles ALSO needs a boyfriend, and would require like two (2) entire seconds of persuasion before Romantically devoting himself to, like. The first person who asked. 

6) So why not Jack

Solution: 

In the ambush where they rescue Jack, Anne Bonny shoots Woodes Rogers point-blank in the chest. Everything else falls naturally into place.