uniwolfwerecorn:

So while I totally get why Silverflint and Flinthamilton are fandom’s bright, shiny OTPs, could we possibly spend a minute contemplating the possibilities and the potential of Flintvane? 

Because come on, there is nothing as glorious for non-canon pairings as the famous enemies to lovers trope, and there’s such a wonderful journey for Flint and Vane at the end of which … lies tragedy, but nothing that a bit of fanfiction couldn’t easily fix so it’s all bliss and rum and sodomy high seas piracy.

Of course, the first episode of meaning is 1.03, the one where Flint and Vane try to hash out a deal through their quartermasters, and it’s Flint who behaves like a disgruntled cat, ready to be at everyone’s throat, while Vane is sitting there calmly and you can just feel the mutual loathing, the air is thick with it. The scene, in itself, is hilarious, especially with Vane and Flint sitting both with their back to the wall, in a position where they can watch each other, while Eleanor and Gates and Jack make the deal, determined not to let these two idiots ruin their fun. 

Things then escalate right up to 2.05, with Flint bombing the fort and Vane attacking him right after Miranda has left. The important question for everyone involved: did Vane hear them arguing, sneaking up on Flint? 

And, well, the fight, with both of them on equal footing – rolling on the floor in a way that is … suggestive at times – and I think it was one of the homophobes in a comment section who wrote in reaction to the Flint/Hamilton reveal, “What’s going to be next, Flint making out with Vane???!!!” to which the only possible reply can be yes, please. 

Come on, that fight was hot as fuck, and it took Eleanor and her musket to make them stop. And then, with Vane still completely pissed off, Flint pushed the chair out for him with his foot, and told him to sit, as if they hadn’t been trying to kill each other only seconds ago. 

I can’t with these two. 

Sadly, making out doesn’t happen in 2.06, but the next time Flint and Vane see each other, it’s when Vane walks up to the gallows in Charles Town in 2.10 with a girl’s diary in his hands to declare that he’s there to deliver testimony on behalf of Captain Flint.

I will always, forever, be completely pissed at the writers that we did not get to see Flint’s initial reaction shot. 

Because for everything he knew, Vane was in Nassau, either dead or fighting for his captaincy. 

I would give my right arm for a chance to see the expression on Flint’s face, that moment of, WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK.

But I disgress. Of course, this is the episode that is every fangirl’s wet dream because holy fucking shit, Vane delivers himself into captivity to free his arch enemy. Because it’s bad publicity if Captain Flint gets hanged in Charles Town. 

Sure, Charles. Sure. 

Flint and Vane sit next to each other, in chains, and Flint asks him what the fuck he’s doing there, and then shit goes down and they join forces to escape, running toward the harbor and killing everyone in their way like the absolute dream team they are, seriously, they don’t even have to think about it, they’re just dancing the dance as if they’ve never not fought side by side. 

And once they’re back on board of their fucking warship, Flint tells Billy that he won’t keep Vane’s men prisoner, no matter what they’ve done, and turns to Vane to tell him to keep his men in line. Vane gives him that nod, and at that point, it doesn’t matter one bit that they’ve spent the last couple of years at each other’s throats and that Flint bombed the shit out of that fort and that Vane tried to kill him, they are fucking brothers now.

Understood? 

Understood. 

A couple of episodes later, we’re dealing with Nassau and the new governor, who wants Vane’s head, and Vane, who has been so determined to keep his promises, wavers, and finally goes with Blackbeard, after facing the fact that he isn’t Flint and his military and tactical skills are sadly lacking. So he goes, but only because he has no other choice. 

And then. 

And then, in 3.05, after having convinced the maroon queen that they are totally allies now, when Silver asks him what’s next on the agenda, Flint says, “Now we martial all resources we can, as many ships as we can muster and allies to sail them, men resolved to defy the pardon and ready to join a war. Now we go and find Charles Vane.”

Now we go and …. 

FIND CHARLES VANE.

Are you fucking kidding me.

Next stop is  3.06, which is … not even a wet dream, more like the culmination of several wet dreams, because Flint is preparing to fight Blackbeard, and Vane, who has just publicly spurned him, is having second thoughts, very, very serious second thoughts, because his tiny ginger pirate boyfriend Flint has gone through starvation and imprisonment and doesn’t stand a chance against big, bad pirate daddy Edward Teach. 

And can we just spend a moment to acknowledge the fact that Flint and Teach are basically dueling for the throne of the pirate kingdom and the hand of the princess, which would be … Charles Vane. 

JESUS FUCK.

So they fight, and poor Flint is totally losing. Blackbeard peprares to kill him, and Charles fucking Vane blocks his blow and then launches a furious series of attacks to drive Teach away from Flint, until he’s made his intentions clear, perfectly clear, crystal clear, so that Teach, with an expression of sheer heartbreak, walks up to Flint and tells him, “Take him, and get the fuck off my beach.”

I mean.

I mean, come on.

There is only so much a little shipper heart can take. 

HOW IS THIS FAIR. 

So Flint has lost the kingdom, but he gets his true love Charles Vane, who, having second thoughts again, asks him if he’ll be enough, or if Flint was only in it for the shiny, precious pirate fleet. 

And Flint, not really able to lie, tells him “It would have helped having the fleet”, which implies that having the fleet would have been nice, but it’s not actually the fleet that he came for, but Charles. Because, you know, Charles is clearly the must-have. 

Can we also spend a moment honoring the writers, who could have made Teach say, “Get him out of my eyes,” or, “Get the fuck off my beach”, or “Take him the fuck off my beach”, or basically any variation of that, but what they wrote was:

Take him, and get the fuck off my beach.

Clearly, these are two separate orders, and it’s my personal headcanon that Flint followed both of them to the best of his abilities, though I’d like to think that he saved the first part for the privacy of his cabin, but whatever.

So, after that, we have Charles basically trying to earn his paycheck by being all helpful and rebellious, and we get the scene of 3.08, right in the beginning, where he and Flint (and Anne) are in Miranda’s house. Like the jealous boyfriend he is, Vane goes to make fun of Miranda’s cembalo and her porcelain and her books, but stops it after Flint asks him to, and then basically states that he has no appreciation for domesticity, and doesn’t get why a man would care for that kind of stuff (careful, Vane, your sexism is showing). 

Unfortunately, 3.08 also leads to the carriage fight, where Flint escapes with the cache and Vane remains behind to fight Rogers. 

And then, at the beach, we have Flint standing there and asking where Vane is, and when he hears that Vane has been caught, he makes ready to get on horseback and ride straight back to Nassau, because, you know. It’s bad publicity if Charles Vane is executed by the new governor.

Sure, Flint. Sure. 

Except – and here’s where a fangirl’s dreams come to a sudden and devastating end – Billy and Jack and Anne tell him that there’s a war waiting for him, and Charles wouldn’t want him to go back and endanger the cause, and Flint is the only one who can fight that battle that they know is coming, and Flint, very reluctantly, agrees to take the cache and leave Vane’s rescue up to Billy. 

Yeah, well. 

Sadly, we’re also never given Flint’s reaction to Charles’ death, and for season four, Flint is much too preoccupied with all his other boyfriends the war to waste a lot of thought on Vane, but well, I personally like to think that during the last moments in Skeleton Island, when he talked about stories and that they would have been for nothing – that he thought of himself, but also of Vane and Teach and Eleanor, and that when he spoke of that chest, he also had in mind what Jack had said to him, about what that cache meant, that there was a lot more in it than just gems. 

Because, you know, the greatest treasure are the friendships we formed along the way. Or something. 

So. 

After all of that, I would just like to add that FlintVane is beauty and grace and it shall never be forgotten.

(Also, Charles Vane would never have sold Captain Flint into a prison camp in Savannah. Just saying.)