seananmcguire:

“So I go upstairs and open my door, and in shoots a streak of
brown that had to have a sonic boom following it.  I’m surprised it
hadn’t gone Spaceballs plaid.  I was unaware that a ground squirrel
found its way in the building and was looking for a place to hide.   I
grabbed my cat, who has the hunting instincts of a blind, arthritic sea
cucumber, and put her in the bedroom and shut the door,  because I could
not fathom trying to chase this thing out from my cluttered closet.    2
of ?”

“I then grabbed the closest thing I had, which was a cheap some
mop from the dollar store.   With said mop, and some screaming, and the
squirrel chasing me at one point,  I finally got the thing from behind
my fireplace credenza, under two end tables, a coffee table, an
overturned oversized chair and ottoman, I got it out of my apartment.   I
did this by lying down on the floor like a starfish and swinging the
mop on the floor like one hand of Big Ben.  3 of ?”

“I did this all with my apartment door wide open to the world,
the cat meowing bloody murder in the bedroom because she hates being
locked away, and my work clothes on.  I slammed my door shut and called
the landlord to come take care of business.   I then had to have my
landlord call my boss to confirm that I was back late from lunch because
I was being held hostage in my apartment by a lost ground squirrel that
did not pay rent.   4 of 5″

“So now I have “Late from lunch – excused” on my HR time record
with the note “Squirrel hostage situation” attached to it.  The next
time, I’ll just let the ground squirrel have the apartment. It’ll be
easier to move.  5 of 5″

This was a ride from start to finish, and an absolute delight.  Thank you for sharing!