occasionalrpmemes:

“Forget the threesome. I just want to join your detective agency.”

“No, look, I’m not saying we should rob the anthropological museum, it’s just that… okay. Maybe I’m saying we should rob the museum a little bit.”

“What if we killed all our citizens, but we fixed the public transportation system?”

“Listen. There’s a pit behind the cafeteria building. And I want you to meet me in it.”

“How many ways to you think there are to evade the library staff forever?”

“I’m sorry I gave your vertebra to someone else.”

“No. Sorry, no. It was a great plan until you got to the- the whole harpoon bit, but…”

“You know, we don’t need to be handcuffed together through our entire lunch.”

“Your dedication to this dance is both impressive and unsettling.”

“I’m not bitter. I’m just saying that if you checked your damn texts more often, maybe I wouldn’t have been trapped naked in the sports center for an hour last night.”

“WHO WANTS TO SEE SOME DEER BONES”

“Consummatum fucking est, mate.”

“Word of advice: Don’t nod while someone is holding a knife to your throat.”

“Do you have to wiggle like that?”

“You told me to do it. You told me you wanted it done. You didn’t tell me how.”

“Okay but can we talk about how your hand seems to be covered in blood?”

“I can hear your heartbeat. You’re alive.”