bachelorjhw:

aries: MAJOR PLEASE, I’M JOHN WATSON, FIFTH NORTHUMBERLAND FUSILIERS, THREE YEARS IN  AFGHANISTAN, A VETERAN OF KANDAHAR, HELMAND  AND BART’S BLOODY HOSPITAL. LET ME EXAMINE THIS BODY.

taurus: because sherlock holmes thinks it’s a perfectly OKAY THING TO DO

gemini: tell me where my wife is or i’ll punch ya lights out, ya pompous prick

cancer: they’re givin’ me an asbo

leo: why is everything always MY FAULT

virgo: DAMN MY LEG

libra: 

no it’s NOT it’s NOT OKAY

scorpio: 

SHEEEEERLOOOOCKKKKK!!!!

sagittarius: SWEAR TO GOD

capricorn: WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING IN THERE JAMES, STOP IT RIGHT NOW, I WILL KICK THIS DOOR DOWN

aquarius: THERE IS NOTHING THE MATTER WITH ME imagine i said that without shouting

pisces: dear gOD ABOVE