Tag: ace discourse

fuckyeahasexual:

shards-of-wanderlust:

deepseacutie:

shards-of-wanderlust:

If you believe that ace, aro, and aspec people are “cishet”, unfollow me right now. You are not welcome here.

Edit: If someone is ace/aro/aspec and identifies themselves PERSONALLY as cishet and considers themselves cishet, then that’s fine since they chose to identify as that. But if you view ace/aro/aspec as inherently “cishet” until they seemingly ‘prove’ otherwise, that’s where I have an issue.

You can’t redefine what cishet means, asshole. An aro or ace person who is cis and straight is cishet and benefits from cishet privilege. I don’t give a shit whether or not they choose to use the label of Cishet.

According to this post, which states: 

“Cishet” was a word coined by trans people meant to describe someone who has full, unconditional access to straight privilege – that is, someone who is 100% perisex, cisgender, heterosexual, and heteroromantic.”

I am not redefining cishet. If someone is Aromantic or Asexual, they do NOT benefit from full straight cisgender privilege, seeing as though they are not Cis Heterosexual Heteromantic to begin with. 

Not only this, but there are multiple posts and blogs that actively provide sources and first-hand accounts that if someone is aspec they can, and do, face different kinds of oppression such as but not limited to: corrective rape, being seen as less than human, feeling “broken”, being seen as mentally ill or something being medically wrong with them for feeling this way, having partners acting as though the aspec individual is somehow denying the other their “right” to sex, being abused in multiple ways and manipulated to feel as though you’re being childish or selfish, others ignoring physical boundaries to try “fixing” you, and more. And in a society that seems to show sexual/romantic depictions as well as trying to play on people’s attraction towards those deemed “sexually appealing”, it can feel really awkward having to hear and see these things all the time. And yes, these things go for, you guessed it, the “CisHet” aspec individuals as well seeing as though these are ASPEC experiences. 

While yes, if someone is cis they do benefit from being cis, and while being in some form of relationship with a different gender than oneself might appear to benefit the person from the view of outsiders since they’re then assumed to be straight, this does not negate the fact that many aspec individuals including myself face different pressures and issues that cisgender heterosexual heteromantic individuals DO NOT face based on their sexuality or romantic orientation. And if someone feels as though they’re cishet while also being aspec, then they can choose that for themselves if it feels right for them personally, but to force this upon everyone is just wrong since someone else cannot determine someone’s identity for them when it comes to incredibly personal labels such as these.

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And just in case you and others don’t feel like hovering over the links, they are as follows: 

@palominocorn on how using “Cishet” towards Ace and Aro people isn’t correct

@millenniumfae and others on What Aspec Individuals Tend to Report Experiencing

About 7 Blogs that go over How Asexuality is Classified as a Mental Disorder

@forevrdreamingofbetterthings talking about how Even Aspec Individuals Face Different Forms of Oppression for being Aspec

@fuckyeahasexual on how Their Many Mods and Other Blogs That Disagree with the whole “Aces Dont Face Problems” sorta talk 

And for those that want a little more on what that “A” in LGBT+ stands for, here ya go 

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With even the most basic of listening to what aspec people have experienced and felt, most anyone can tell that even “cishet” aspecs can and do face different pressures and problems that they wouldn’t have to face if they truly had all of that “CisHet” privilege that others claim that they have. And just because some people don’t experience the issues listed, it doesn’t take away how many others have experienced otherwise.

Brilliant collection of links! OP is spot on

asynca:

mariannevibritannia:

garrettauthor:

asynca:

Man, Exclusionist queer kids on Tumblr who don’t know our history, don’t listen to older queers, but who are prepared to bully, silence and attack their own community members have the capacity to do so much fucking damage to the queer community. Hopefully it’ll never spread off Tumblr, because the whole “UM THAT’S FOR LESBIANS NOT FOR BISEXUAL WOMEN!!! LESBIANS ARE DIFFERENT THAN BISEXUALS!! IT’S LESBOPHOBIA TO SAY THEY’RE THE SAME BC BISEXUALS AREN’T EVEN REALLY OPPRESSED!!!!!” rhetoric and their “aces aren’t real, their oppression isn’t real, the ‘A’ in the full acronym should be removed!!!” is extremely dangerous. 

Tumblr is a space where kids get politicized. If they start out with exclusionist politics, they will take that shit into real life and apply it, because they think it’s real life and widespread when it’s literally just shitty outdated politics wrapped in Tumblr bullshit. It’s very important we make sure kids are getting the right information about the queer community with real life checks on it, because I can’t imagine what the wider queer community would be like if this disgusting exclusionism goes mainstream. 

…Well, I can. It wouldn’t be called the queer community, it would the LGBT+ community (with a big debate about whether the ‘T’ belongs with the LGBs and whether bisexual people are really oppressed) because OMG QU**R IS A SLUR WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!!!

What’s so ironic is that all these people spouting last-century separatist politics about queer being a slur and about lesbians being different and special than ‘basically straight’ bisexuals and asexuals are spouting politics coined by white TERFs. Lesbian separatism is a concept spawned by TERFs. Despite that, because they don’t know their history, they always put “TERFS NOT WELCOME!!!” in their profiles, not realising that every aspect of their politics other than ‘trans women are valid’ is straight out of the mouth of ringleader TERFs. 

I don’t generally reblog intra-community discourse because I’m not trying to step out of my lane, but I think this is pretty important.

Also Asy is a great person you should be following if you aren’t already.

op i think u just have an issue with lesbians bc this whole post is completely incoherent

1) it’s really weird that you seem to have an issue with saying bisexuals and lesbians are different…because they are. the words have different meanings. that doesn’t mean bisexuals aren’t oppressed. anyone who says otherwise is a jackass

2) asexuals are real, but, no, they aren’t materially oppressed on the basis of not feeling sexual attraction. saying so isn’t dangerous. lbr most people irl don’t even know asexuality is a thing. what i think is dangerous is telling young people that they’re oppressed/people hate them for not feeling sexual attraction (which is temporary for many) which just isn’t true.

3) ….and i don’t even understand your third paragraph? you have an issue with people using the LGBT acronym instead of “queer?” lol and yes, queer is a slur. many have reclaimed it, but many are still uncomfortable with it. you have to remember that it was used pejoratively for a long time and only really began to be reclaimed in the late 1980s which isn’t that long ago. also, there are places where it’s still used as a slur more than others (the south, for instance). so, yeah, have empathy if someone doesn’t want to be called something.

4) okay your forth paragraph: pointing out that “queer” is a slur is apparently separatist politics…hating on lesbians again…yeah, bisexuals aren’t straight but some asexuals are…terfs apparently talk at length about asexuals, and bisexual and heterosexual terfs don’t exist in your world lol….

I think you’ve been exposed to a lot of unhelpful bullshit on Tumblr, my dude. The rhetoric you are parroting is divisive, unhelpful, and materially wrong (especially the part about asexual folks not being oppressed. There is an ‘A’ in the acronym for a reason). It’s okay though – it’s not too late to read up on your history, to listen to other people, to listen to queer folks much older than you, and to change and open your politics. 

Here’s a great post to bring you up to speed on why everything you said is wrong. Especially about lesbians and bisexual folks being inherently different. 

I’ve written lots about the oppression of asexual folks. There’s also lots of other great posts I’ve reblogged in that tag. 

Here’s my #queer tag. There’s lots of reading in there about the term queer and about how telling actual queer people who are using it as an indentity that it’s a slur is rude, divisive and dangerous.  It also comes out the the Big White TERF Playbook of Lesbian Separatist Crap from Last Century. 

Here’s a study about the usage of ‘queer’. Please note many of the people in the slur camp are exclusionists who cause harm to the community. 

It’s not your fault you started out with ignorant politics – but it is your fault if you keep your politics after being politely advised how you are wrong and what you are doing is harmful.