eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place. koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs
oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because
1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone’s doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
2) idiots can’t die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker’s lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin dark!steve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em
by the way i never elaborated on “koalas sit in trees all day screaming” but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like
Also, it doesn’t matter that they’re eating brain-killing poison, because their brains are already tiny, and smooth rather than folded they way most animal brains are to increase neuron surface area. Also full of holes? These animals are so fuckin dumb, they’re basically like if vertebrates tried to evolve a scale insect.
Fucking dumbasses I love them
so they’re the terrestrial equivalent of sunfish?
im crying omg
What’s the bird equivalent
WITHOUT A DOUBT it is the kakapo, the cutest yet worst-evolutionarily-pranked bird in existence
their natural instinct when faced with danger is to just…freeze and not move….which is basically one tiny step above just walking into the hungry maw of the invasive cat/ferret/rat/raccoon/etc etc
they are also Very Bad at mating and, oh btw, mate only ONCE EVERY 5 YEARS OR SO when one particular berry (the Rimu fruit) has a good year
anyway they are the worlds heaviest parrot and only flightless one, can weigh like 4kg/9 pounds (BIG FRIEND), and if they can avoid being blissful evolutionary dum dums can live 60 TO 100 YEARS if only they can keep it together, bless them
Oh my god
Dark!Steve Irwin
I too only manage to have sex every five years or so because I happened to come across a delightful berry that reminds me that I am in fact alive
In response to the NSFW ban being enacted by Tumblr Staff, on December 17th 2018 I propose that we all log off of our Tumblr accounts for 24 hours.
The lack of respect and communication between staff and users is stark. Users have been begging staff to delete the porn bot outbreak, which has plagued the website for well over a year. The porn bots oftentimes send people asks and messages, trying to get them to go to a website full of viruses. They also spam advertisements on others posts.
Users have also begged that Tumblr ban neo-nazis, child porn, and pedophiles, all which run rampant on the site. The site/app got so bad that it was taken off the app store.
However, instead of answering the users, Tumblr has instead taken the liberty to ban all NSFW content, regardless of age. But users have already run into issues of their SFW content being marked as sensitive and being flagged as NSFW, not allowing them to share their work.
Not only does this discriminate again content creators, but it also discriminates against sex workers. Disgustingly, the ban will be enacted on December 17 which is also International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers.
This ban is disgusting, and while I (and plenty of others) welcome porn bots and child porn being banned, the Tumblr filtration system is broken. It tags artistic work’s nipples as NSFW (when it is art), it tags SFW art as NSFW (when it is not), and does not stop the porn bots, neo-nazis and dozens of other issues.
This ban is discriminatory. This ban is ineffective. This ban is unacceptable.
To protest, log off of your Tumblr account for the entirety of December 17th. Log off at 12 am EST or 9PM PST and stay off for 24 hours. Don’t post. Don’t log on. Don’t even visit the website. Don’t give them that sweet ad revenue.
Tumblr’s stock has already taken a hard hit. Let’s make it tank. Maybe then they will listen to the users.
Reblog to signal boost! We must force change.
Let’s make it happen.
No activity for 24h in our timezone on 17 December 2018.
He introduces himself as Vane. And as she eyes him up and down, from the self-confident cock of his hip to the well groomed and styled beard, she thinks “yes, you are vain.” But there is part of her that seems to wake up and take notice. Madi lets him buy the next round and tries to figure out where she knows him from.
“Have we met before?” He asks, head tilted to the side. The low rasp of his voice settles deep in her stomach and she knows this feeling. She recognises the way it makes the hair on the back of her neck stand on end, her fingertips tingling with the need to reach out and touch.
“I don’t know,” she responds quietly. He walks her home and they don’t speak much but it’s almost as though there is nothing left to say. Thousands of conversations over hundreds of years seem to drift behind them like shadows. When he kisses her hand, the rasp of his beard against her skin like a shock, she gasps. And she remembers.
hey friends, Pillowfort is back! This is me over there: https://www.pillowfort.io/Flintsredhair. Please come over and follow me if you’re already on – if not, they’re going to go back to issuing invitations soon after they’ve made sure they don’t have any major glitches after all the security updates!
This fandom is super important to me and I know it’s important to a lot if you as well. A lot of us are gonna be staying on this site but a lot of us might be moving and I thought it would be great to get all that info in one place! So I’ve created a spreadsheet that anyone can edit. You can access it here.You can add your twitter, instagram, Ao3, pillowfort or anything else, and edit it at any time to add or remove or change info. Please add your name even if you’ve only ever created one piece of black sails fanart or written one short fic or made one edit! You can also add your name even if you’re not a content creator and just want to stay in touch with friends. This way it could be super easy to look up where your friends and fave artists and writers are going. Let me know if you have any questions 🙂 I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be staying here but I don’t want to lose touch with all you talented people. ❤️☠️⚓
Meg's Mumbles 