Trauma often messes with one’s ability to say “no”.
You either consciously or subconsciously think, “I don’t want to hurt this person’s feelings” or “If I say no, then they’ll hurt me” or “It won’t really be that bad” or “I can handle this” or “I need to do this to prove myself” or “I deserve this”, or you forget that “no” is even an option.
It’s still not your fault if you didn’t say “no”, even if you think maybe you could have. It’s still not your fault. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and you didn’t bring it upon yourself. It was never your fault.
I just cried when I read this. Thank you.
It’s also not your fault if you continue having trouble saying “no” later on when you’ve realized what happened to you and that you deserved better. You’re going to have days where you think “damn it I deserve to be heard, I’ll do what I want,” and those are good days. You’re also going to have days where you can’t fathom saying “no”, it’s too hard, it’s too frightening, and that’s ok too because recovery is not linear and as long as you keep having days where you think “I have a voice and I WILL be heard,” you are still recovering.
Meg's Mumbles 