naturallyalix:

gallicinvasion:

what she says: “Oh I don’t mind; we can eat anywhere. I’m not picky.”

what she means: “For my entire life, I’ve been called bossy/picky/selfish/arrogant/bitchy for voicing my own opinions and making my views known, so now when someone I care about asks me about what I want, my immediate gut reaction is to defer to the other person’s preference. it’s less of a hassle to capitulate to someone else’s desires than to risk having someone verbally berate me for being truthful about what I want.”

SCREAM THIS FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOP

This also applies to when you ask “what would you like to talk about” and get this answer or basically any question where you ask an abused person to express an opinion or want of their own. Please be patient while they get braver about actually telling you, and understand when their mind genuinely does go blank upon being asked because it’s new and different and even yes, scary to start realizing that you don’t know how to answer anymore.