If you believe that ace, aro, and aspec people are “cishet”, unfollow me right now. You are not welcome here.
Edit: If someone is ace/aro/aspec and identifies themselves PERSONALLY as cishet and considers themselves cishet, then that’s fine since they chose to identify as that. But if you view ace/aro/aspec as inherently “cishet” until they seemingly ‘prove’ otherwise, that’s where I have an issue.
You can’t redefine what cishet means, asshole. An aro or ace person who is cis and straight is cishet and benefits from cishet privilege. I don’t give a shit whether or not they choose to use the label of Cishet.
According to this post, which states:
“Cishet” was a word coined by trans people meant to describe someone who has full, unconditional access to straight privilege – that is, someone who is 100% perisex, cisgender, heterosexual, and heteroromantic.”
I am not redefining cishet. If someone is Aromantic or Asexual, they do NOT benefit from full straight cisgender privilege, seeing as though they are not Cis Heterosexual Heteromantic to begin with.
Not only this, but there are multiple posts and blogs that actively provide sources and first-hand accounts that if someone is aspec they can, and do, face different kinds of oppression such as but not limited to: corrective rape, being seen as less than human, feeling “broken”, being seen as mentally ill or something being medically wrong with them for feeling this way, having partners acting as though the aspec individual is somehow denying the other their “right” to sex, being abused in multiple ways and manipulated to feel as though you’re being childish or selfish, others ignoring physical boundaries to try “fixing” you, and more. And in a society that seems to show sexual/romantic depictions as well as trying to play on people’s attraction towards those deemed “sexually appealing”, it can feel really awkward having to hear and see these things all the time. And yes, these things go for, you guessed it, the “CisHet” aspec individuals as well seeing as though these are ASPEC experiences.
While yes, if someone is cis they do benefit from being cis, and while being in some form of relationship with a different gender than oneself might appear to benefit the person from the view of outsiders since they’re then assumed to be straight, this does not negate the fact that many aspec individuals including myself face different pressures and issues that cisgender heterosexual heteromantic individuals DO NOT face based on their sexuality or romantic orientation. And if someone feels as though they’re cishet while also being aspec, then they can choose that for themselves if it feels right for them personally, but to force this upon everyone is just wrong since someone else cannot determine someone’s identity for them when it comes to incredibly personal labels such as these.
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And just in case you and others don’t feel like hovering over the links, they are as follows:
@palominocorn on how using “Cishet” towards Ace and Aro people isn’t correct
@millenniumfae and others on What Aspec Individuals Tend to Report Experiencing
About 7 Blogs that go over How Asexuality is Classified as a Mental Disorder
@forevrdreamingofbetterthings talking about how Even Aspec Individuals Face Different Forms of Oppression for being Aspec
@fuckyeahasexual on how Their Many Mods and Other Blogs That Disagree with the whole “Aces Dont Face Problems” sorta talk
And for those that want a little more on what that “A” in LGBT+ stands for, here ya go
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With even the most basic of listening to what aspec people have experienced and felt, most anyone can tell that even “cishet” aspecs can and do face different pressures and problems that they wouldn’t have to face if they truly had all of that “CisHet” privilege that others claim that they have. And just because some people don’t experience the issues listed, it doesn’t take away how many others have experienced otherwise.
Brilliant collection of links! OP is spot on
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