To be fair, humans are some bullshit from a balance perspective.
“I’ll just outrun that human…any day now… any… day… jesus christ it’s the terminator.”
“Maybe I can outsmart it and hide. What’s that you say, its brain takes up 20% of it’s caloric intake? FML.”
“It doesn’t have any natural weapons. I’ll just turn around and kill it. OH GOD IT’S GOT STONE CLAWS THAT ARE UNHOLY SHARP!”
“Okay, fight number two. It’s squishy so if I’m careful and find the right time when it’s weak I can – IT HAS PROJECTILE SHARP THINGS!”
“I’ll try crossing the river. It’s too gangly to be buoya – IT CAN SWIM?!?”
“Okay nothing can swim and run and climb. I’ll just go up this tree… FML it descended from apes.”
“It doesn’t even have fur, I can run to a colder climate and escape. Welp, it’s wearing the fur of my loved ones to keep warm.”
“If the whole herd bands together and protects each other, we can trample it… it can CONTROL FIRE.”
“Fuck it. Might as well just follow them around and get domesticated.”
Prettymuch everything we did to animals comes out of a horror movie.
Welp, it’s wearing the fur of my loved ones to keep warm.”
This is right up there with Humans as the most terrifying alien in the universe…
Alien lands on earth, “Yes, these strange beings will never know what Hit them!”
Cow, standing nearby just shakes its head, “Nope…”
Alien, “What?.. we have a powerful army, weapons of mass destruction.. what do they have?!”
Dog nearby, “My species used to out number them, we were faster, had better claws and teeth.. now we play fetch for treats and poop outside because guilt.”
Alien, “But our Technology!”
Horse, “Yea, no.. just hand it over to them.. its easier..”
Alien, “Well… shit.. what about you?”
Cat, “Fuck you, I run this place bitch..”
Published
Meg's Mumbles 