who calls their pets by their real names anyway

captainsorryimabadass:

deanisawesom:

3d-dragon:

queenofsovngarde:

ariaste:

glimmerbulb:

pinklikeme:

thischick25:

agingwunderkind:

jumpingjacktrash:

the-real-seebs:

jumpingjacktrash:

fundamentalparticle:

rachelofcyberia:

jumpingjacktrash:

reblog with your pets’ names, and what they think their names are

• hermes: ‘buddy’
• devi: ‘squeaker beast’
• misty: ‘funny face’, ‘bitty butt’
• molly: only answers to ‘molly’, but when she’s been fighting she knows ‘sinner cat’ and ‘mean girl’ are about her

Mistletoe Swordback: Toe, Toepants, Brat
Boots: Booty Doodle, Caligula, Evil Bitch

I accidentally taught one of my cats that his name was Arsehole.

this is exactly the kind of important information i was hoping for

good job people keep it up

molly: molly transcends names. she knows that all attention is hers, and rightfully so.
devy: devy doesn’t need a name. you’re not talking about her. she’s talking about you. shut up. she needs to tell you a thing. the thing is that there’s not enough food.
misty: misty is ramming your shins because she’s trying to escape you and is not good at it.

you’re terrible at cats. devi stops what she’s doing and comes trotting over to hover just out of petting range and make pet-me poses at me when i call her squeaker. misty looks attentive at any vocalizations from me but only jumps up on the bed when i call her funny face.

hermes and molly are probably not really cats. hermes is a guardian spirit of some kind, and molly is the ghost of a bar-brawling gangster moll who died in a spectacular shootout with the cops.

Suzuki – Boobies, Tittymonster, Boobaladoobala, Miss Boobalina, Miss Boob Doob A Lina
Negrita (our friendly feral) – (whistling to the tune of “I just met a girl named Maria”) 

Kai – Loafy Loafersons, Tub o’ Chubbies, Mr. Tubbs, Loafy-Loafy, Cat of Darkness, Tubby Buddy

Totchi – Handsome Boy, Toties, Paw Prince, Babycat, and when he is “helping” me with my fabric: Little Shit, Fuck You Cat, The Worst Animal

Noodle- Doodle(his last name), Noodledoodle, Doodlebutt, Tiny Paws, Fuzzy, Noodlecat, Shouty

Peanut- The Nut, Peanutnut, Fluffy, Flufftail, Cloud

What they respond to though is the tone of my voice– with Noodle it’s pitched really low, and with Peanut it’s pitched really high. I dunno what started that…

Wren: knows her real name and responds to it, but also responds to Wrennifer (her full name) and all sorts of goopy pet names. Also understands the phrase “do you want dinner?” and does 3 tricks

Little Stranger: Pays attention to the right tone of voice, understands “Do you want dinner”, comes running when I call Wren because she knows that normally means treats. We call her Stranger, Stranger Thang, Strangerella, Tupid

Mogget (a name which is only ever used for making vet appointments): Honey, sweet cat, kitten, catling, good girl, hey you<3<3<3, circle cat (when she is sleeping in a bun), lil black cat, shadow creature

Bartholomew – *jazz hands*

Apache – Prince , Princeling, *kissy noises*, pretty boy

Fuzzy-  fluffy, fuzzbuzz, fluff butt, Fluffinator, grand empress of the universe, fuzzywuzzy…..she has many names and will respond to them all with the sweetest most amazing voice and purrs cause she is gonna make you give her ALL the treats

Spindel – Fatass, asshole, she responds with a meow

Ollie – Ollie/Tigger since he jumps alot….NEVER TRUST HIM HE IS ALWAYS PLOTTING

Boobie – Bolly, booboo, and boobie

Hollie – Cheaster 

Snuggles – cat 

cali – fat ass

stripy – only answers to stripy, kinda like molly

jacky – fucking idiot, stupid fucker

mononoke – mononin, mononon, moño.

princesa zelda (*) – chichi, chiquitin, princess.

maqui – and maqui is just maqui tbh.

if any of this three girls are doing something that they should not : hija de puta y/o culiada.

(*) Original name, no one has called her that ever, like not even once i believe, but it is the name in the adoption certificate so…

Watson: His knows his name is Watson. He loves hearing it – I think he’s got a weird “you said my name so you’re safe to be around” thing going on. That said, I call him Watson-big, handsome sir, biggest of boys, best of cats, Mr. Watson Sir, and, if I want to irritate him, Freckle-foot. 

Patches: Puttles (pronounced like the first part of pull and the last half of little put together, because who’s a pretty girl? who’s a putty baby? who’s a Puttles?) Also Puttle-duttle, Puttle-buttle, baby girl, Pussa-bussa, and Puttle-dee Buttle baby. I don’t have names for when she’s doing something naughty because it took me forever to get that cat to trust me and we don’t cuss at her because it scares her.