I had an experience today I needed to share because it fell squarely into “This would happen to Seanan” territory. Today I learned that wild ground squirrels will just come into your home. They do not care that it’s yours. I came home to my quaint little apartment building today to check on my special needs kitty and to just get away from work. It did not seem odd to me that the main building door was open. This happens all the time when people are moving in or out. 1 of ?

seananmcguire:

“So I go upstairs and open my door, and in shoots a streak of
brown that had to have a sonic boom following it.  I’m surprised it
hadn’t gone Spaceballs plaid.  I was unaware that a ground squirrel
found its way in the building and was looking for a place to hide.   I
grabbed my cat, who has the hunting instincts of a blind, arthritic sea
cucumber, and put her in the bedroom and shut the door,  because I could
not fathom trying to chase this thing out from my cluttered closet.    2
of ?”

“I then grabbed the closest thing I had, which was a cheap some
mop from the dollar store.   With said mop, and some screaming, and the
squirrel chasing me at one point,  I finally got the thing from behind
my fireplace credenza, under two end tables, a coffee table, an
overturned oversized chair and ottoman, I got it out of my apartment.   I
did this by lying down on the floor like a starfish and swinging the
mop on the floor like one hand of Big Ben.  3 of ?”

“I did this all with my apartment door wide open to the world,
the cat meowing bloody murder in the bedroom because she hates being
locked away, and my work clothes on.  I slammed my door shut and called
the landlord to come take care of business.   I then had to have my
landlord call my boss to confirm that I was back late from lunch because
I was being held hostage in my apartment by a lost ground squirrel that
did not pay rent.   4 of 5″

“So now I have “Late from lunch – excused” on my HR time record
with the note “Squirrel hostage situation” attached to it.  The next
time, I’ll just let the ground squirrel have the apartment. It’ll be
easier to move.  5 of 5″

This was a ride from start to finish, and an absolute delight.  Thank you for sharing!