amuseoffyre:

love-in-mind-palace:

avidreaderffn:

dystopian-boobpocalypse:

sweetlyminiaturesublime:

k-lionheart:

ralkana:

alykat86:

bittyblueeyes:

nominanescio:

joestoyes:

unironicallyenthusiasticknitter:

dafezgirl:

thomas-is-so-vine-and-kind:

“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do

“Stay.” I glare at inanimate objects that continuously fall over

“Thank you!” I say exhasperatedly to the inanimate objects when they do finally work right/stay put

“Sorry! I say to the table I bumped into

“SHHH” I say to the inanimate object that keeps making noise

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” I huff at the persistent kitchen timer.

“Don’t take that tone with me!” I exclaim at objects that make strange and sudden unknown noises.

“Stop crying, you’re fine,” I snap as I’m looking for the charger cord for the electronic device beeping demandingly at me.

“Oh nice, real mature,” I snarl at devices that suddenly stop working after I berate them for not working properly.

JESUS CHRIST I HAVE NEVER RELATED SO HARD IN MY LIFE

I feel like if any of y’all got cursed into The Beast, you’d probably take the whole “furniture is alive” part pretty well in stride

“Easy there, easy, come on you can do it” I tell the printer every time I need to print something in a hurry. The trick is not to let it smell your fear.

“I am coming!! Wait!.” I say as I run to pick up the phone.

“Come back!” I cry, frantically trying to reopen the right tab

“Are you done?” I ask, hands on my hips, to inanimate objects that have briefly started doing something Concerning and are no longer doing it while trying to pretend it didn’t happen.