comtessedebussy:

This is totally inspired by @the-night-painter’s amazing crack fic about everyone on the plantation shipping Thomas/James whie simultaneously being terrified of James once they figure out he’s Flint

But of course my mind likes to take everything to crazy extremes so I took the inspiration from one line in that fic and totally ran with it and thought: what if they all thing Thomas isn’t willingly with James? 

Hear me out. They’ve heard Thomas talk about James, his James, his lieutenant, who is a good man, a brilliant man, loyal and brave. And then a pirate shows up at the plantation – dressed in black, scarred and battle-weary, exuding an aura of danger. And they overheard James and Thomas talking, as James tells Thomas about the things he’s done. One time, Thomas is so shocked he can’t keep his voice down and exclaims, “you single-handedly took a Spanish warship with a bullet wound in your shoulder?” and James is like “yeah, the salt water stung like a bitch.” And they hear other details – “you got your ship back two days after a mutiny?” “You sacked Charlestown?” “You acquired the Urca de Lima’s gold and buried it on Skull Island and left that place to tell the tale?” “You were friends with Long John Silver?” 

And they put it together, because they’ve all heard stories of Captain Flint. They realize James isn’t just a pirate. James is Captain Flint. 

And Thomas keeps insisting that no, James is his lieutenant, even though it’s clearly obvious that James is the most feared pirate in the New World. They can’t possibly be the same man; how could the rising star of the British Navy that Thomas had told them about be such a feared, ruthless man? 

So they assume Flint is holding something over Thomas to make him pretend that Flint is James, to pretend that they were and are lovers, to be “faithful” to him. Perhaps Flint has threatened everyone at the plantation if Thomas doesn’t comply. They don’t know what Flint wants with Thomas, but they’re quite certain that whatever it is, Thomas is going along with it because he has no other choice, pretending to be with this man romantically and sexually. 

And they see James and Thomas kissing and being all intimate all over the place, and they just become more and more convinced that Thomas is just playing a role. There are some dissenting voices that say “look at how cute they are together” but the majority of them are like “Thomas couldn’t possibly be in love with the man who sacked Charlestown to the ground.” 

And eventually they decide this can’t go on any longer. They like Thomas ,and they have to save Thomas. Flint is terrifying, but surely they outnumber him. They have no weapons besides shovers and sticks, but they try to ambush Flint. 

Flint looks up from eating a peach, amused. 

“You’ll leave Thomas alone,” they insist.

James raises an elegant eyebrow. 

“Now whyever would I do that?” 

“We don’t know what yo’ure holding over him, but there’s no way he could possibly willingly be with Captain Flint. You’ll release him from whatever web you’ve spun.” 

“Or what?” 

“Or – or – we’ll make you. There’s more of us than there are of you.” 

But James just starts laughing, because oh boy, the hilarity of it (or perhaps he’s laughing so he won’t cry, because they are so right that there is no way Thomas should love Captain Flint, and yet somehow, miraculously, he still does.)

The laugh of Captain Flint is incredibly disconcerting. They exchange glances.

Then, of course, Thomas shows up, and wants to know what’s going on here. And they explain, tell him how they know that Flint is basically coercing Thomas and keeping him captive, and they’re here to free him. 

And Thomas also bursts out laughing because he’s never heard anything quite so absurd in his life. The idea of James kidnapping him or coercing him? 

He walks over to James and kisses him, deeply, passionately, lovingly, in front of them all. James’ hands come up instinctively to hold him, gentle yet firm. Loving. He returns the kiss. 

Silence follows. Then some whistles and cheers. Followed by more whistles and cheers as they keep kissing.

Eventually, they break apart. 

And then, still holding James’ hand, and half facing him, he says, “Captain Flint would have no need to kidnap or coerce me. I would go willingly, even to the ends of the earth.” 

And while a couple of their audience doubt the veracity of those words, most of them think it’s pretty fucking cute. Although they’re still fucking terrified by Flint, and want nothing to do with him, but they also think it’s damn adorable that Thomas has managed to capture the heart of the most terrifying pirate in the New World. A ruthless, dangerous man who would stop at nothing to protect the man he loves, who would keep him safe against every danger. It’s a love story for the ages. 

They would still like absolutely nothing to do with Captain Flint, thank you very much, which is why they help them escape. (Not that Flint needed help, but hey, they’d like to keep the casualties low). 

And as they both mount a horse, Thomas turns back and tells them, “be sure to spread the rumor that I was kidnapped by Captain Flint.” James glares at him, but Thomas winks, and they both snicker. 

(Once they’ve gotten a good distance away they totally do a roleplay in which Thomas is a helpless captive whom Captain Flint has kidnapped) 

And the entire population of the plantation is also now aware that Captain Flint is James McGraw, because they all have the full story and so despite how hard everyone had tried to keep it quiet, the story of how Captain FLint was born, of his true motivations, of the injustices of civilization that birthed him, spreads through the new world. The things Hennessy and Alfred Hamilton and Peter Ashe had tried to lock away to keep alive the veneer of civilization? They live, in the daylight, and the story is told that Captain Flint was born because England had taken away his true love. 

Meanwhile, James and Thomas live in a cottage by the sea. Every once in a while, they go into town to catch up on the latest gossip and hear what people are saying about Flint and Thomas. Sometimes they add to the rumors (mostly truth, but a smattering of lies).. 

The story doesn’t die. The story of Captain Flint changes though. He’s no longer merely a ruthless, selfish monster. He is a man driven to extremes, wronged by those who branded him a monster, who did the worst things with the purest of motivations. 

James’ worst fear, that he will become the monster “in the stories they tell their children,” the fear that Silver did not care about…does not come to pass. The true story gets out, and it’s too powerful for anyone to put down or discredit. 

(Also Treasure Island is a fucking lie and an attempt by people the likes of Woodes Rogers to change the story. It doesn’t work) 

Ummmm so this was going to be a cracky drabble and now it turned into a goddamn angsty feelsy meta-like ficlet? 

Sorry not sorry