4 and/or 34 and or 66 (let thomas come bACK)

complaininginthedark:

insert “why not both” gif here omg okay

4 – ❝i couldn’t care less. i’m with you right now, that’s all that matters.❞ 
34 – ❝i never wanted any of this to happen to you.❞
66 – ❝you know we belong together. i knew it the first time i saw you, and you know it, too. i know you do.❞ 

set post series because I have been too kind to these two but i still want some kindness to happen 

–

“I never wanted any of this to happen to you,” James whispered into the darkness, thinking Thomas was asleep. “I only wanted you, with no regard to your safety… forgive me.”

He sounded so melancholy and to Thomas it sounded as though James were talking at his grave. He sat up, turning with speed to grasp at his love’s arms. 

“Never say that again. Promise me;” he hissed. 

“Thomas, I-”

He kissed James fiercely, grasping at him and swallowing the broken sob that came from him. “I couldn’t care less about the past, not any more. I’m with you right now, that’s all that matters. I love you and that is all that matters.”

James eyes brimmed with tears, glittering in the low light and his broken heart on show for Thomas to see. He nodded, lips quivering, and rested his head on Thomas’ shoulder. 

“We have known such loss. You have suffered more than any man should… To have seen what you have seen, to have done what you had to do! I don’t know how you survived. But I thank God every day that you did. Through all our shared grief, there is a reason we have ended up together; we belong together James, I knew it the first time I saw you. And you know it too, I know you do.”

He kissed James’ hair and stroked his shaking back, desperate to convey his love for the man who was so broken and unused to feeling love. James clung to him, his breath jerky as he tried to control it. It was hard to see him this way but Thomas would do anything if it meant James would feel loved. 

“I love you,” he whispered again, “I love you and nothing will change that.”

James looked up with a small crooked smile. “I love you too,” he said with a surety Thomas was relieved to see he still had. It brought tears to his eyes. James, his James, was still in there. He was still that beautiful man Thomas met in London all those years ago. 

“I’m glad. Now, let’s get some sleep.”

He tucked James against his side, his arm would no doubt be numb come morning but it was worth it to feel the soft and happy sigh James made as he pressed close.