sailorscoutmountaindew:

gayadhdpoe:

marsincharge:

sophiaslittleblog:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

The Xbox One has a super sensitive on button, so just barely brushing it turns it on. Lately, it’s been “turning on by itself,” which means one of my pets has been messing with it. But which one?

Suspect #1:

Name: Calcifer
Age: 1 and ½
Occupation: Professional Gatekeeper
Hobbies: Meowing to leave the bedroom when the door is closed, then meowing to get back in exactly 30 seconds later; sticking his paw in my food when I’m not pay attention; ignoring the toys we buy him and playing with dish towels instead; Napping.
Motivation: None. He generally stays in his lane and behaves well.

Suspect #2:

Name: Oliver
Age: 1
Occupation: Professional Attention Seeker
Hobbies: 

Laying on my chest while I play video games and demanding attention; eating Greek yogurt; playing with cotton balls; hiding in boxes.
Motivation: Likes to hide near the game consoles because they get warm.

Suspect #3:

Name: Banjo
Age: 8 Months
Occupation: Professional Butt
Hobbies:  Eating cat poo when no one is paying attention; eating underwear; being a Good Boy™

when treats are involved; being a sinvergüenza; giving lots of love to everyone he meets.
Motivation: Likes to stick his nose in places where it doesn’t belong. 

Deductions: The Xbox One on button has drool marks all over it, very reminiscent of a certain puppers’ antics…

Conclusion: Banjo has been licking the on button on the Xbox One because he likes the sound it makes when it turns on. BOOK HIM, BOYS!

SOMEONE PLEASE POST HIS BOND!

He was framed

Where is his gofundme for his bail

he is a criminal he must serve his sentence