I always heard, until I got onto Tumblr, that if you knelt in the middle of a fairy ring and asked nicely the fairies will grant your wish. Have I been lied to my entire life?

seananmcguire:

vaspider:

moiracolleenodell:

vaspider:

seananmcguire:

unicornempire:

seananmcguire:

…yes.

The Fair Folk, the Kindly Ones, the Shining Host, we don’t call them by nice names because they’re nice people.  We’re going HEY POINTY-EARED VOLDEMORT INSPIRATIONS, PLEASE DON’T WEAR OUR SKINS AS BEAUTIFUL GOWNS.

Because they will.

They fucking will.

This message brought to you by the Society For Not Being Transformed Into An Equal Volume of Spiders.

I would join that society.

We could have jackets.

The jackets would remain after someone pissed off the fae.  A discarded jacket is how we know you’re out of the club.

but what if i am okay with being an equal volume of spiders?

What if you’re a nonbinary fae who technically is sort of a spider, but has an optional humanoid form they can change into? Because I’m working on designing a character like that for my MOGAI fairy tale. I mean, I’m no artist so I can’t draw it, but I can still conceive it, and I think they’re pretty cool (even if their pronouns are giving me a headache because of the archaic language of traditionally-told fairy tales).

Then you’re me I guess idk.

If you’re fae, and being an equal volume of spiders is a natural and desirable state for you, then you do you.  Fae, as a rule, do not fuck with the fae, for the same reason that most kids are smart enough not to be pedantic little monsters with their own parents: you don’t shit where you eat.

I?  Am not regularly an equal volume of spiders, nor are most of the people who go “ha ha maybe THIS is the trick with fairy rings that she’s going to be cool with.”  Pro tip: if I say I’m cool with fucking with the fae, it’s because I have given up on you, and am already preparing my condolences.