bgtea:

captaintauriel:

dalpuri:

Thorin’s letter to Bilbo/the contract, written in Tengwar by J.R.R. Tolkien [page 2]. Not printed in the original edition of The Hobbit because it was too diffuclt to reproduce.

Thorin and Company to Burglar Bilbo greeting! For your hospitality our sincerest thanks, and for your offer of professional assistance our grateful acceptance. Terms: cash on delivery, up to and not exceeding one fourteenth of total profits (if any); all traveling expenses guaranteed in any event; funeral expenses to be defrayed by us or our representatives, if occasion arises and the matter is not otherwise arranged for. Thinking it unnecessary to disturb your esteemed repose, we have proceeded in advance to make requisite preparations, and shall await your respected person at the Green Dragon Inn, Bywater, at II a.m. sharp.
Trusting that you will be punctual.
We have the honour to remain
Yours deeply
Thorin & Co.

#ok lets talk about this fucking contract #ok 1) #I mean this is basically the middle earth equivalent of a post it note ok #2) it’s just so damn polite and kinda cute #3) and also incredibly useless??? #4) I’m pretty sure even I could come up with something more legal-esque than this #(that’s a lie. but it won’t keep me from belittling this adorable piece of scroll) #5) ‘so listen up bilbs we were thinking of finally getting rid of that pesky dragon been squatting in our home’ #’do u wanna come’ #’there’s a fancy coffin in it for u; in case u dont make it’ #’also you totally forgot about those eggs you promised me for breakfast’#’just an fyi I’m gonna hold that against you’ #(~ I cannot guarantee his safety ~~) #[ok so that wasnt in the contract but there was this entire part in the book where thorin described/requested his breakfast wishes?? thoriii #nnn] #anyway I love this so much#btw did you guys read that article; I think it was on wired.com #where an actual lawyer went through the entire movieverse contract #which; turns out; was actually pretty well thought through #anyway #ALSO I just think it’s important to note here #that this is a pretty good indicator that thorin is well versed in more languages than two; incl. several elvish dialects #which would totally make sense since he was; you know; raised an heir to the throne #in a time where they were entertaining a peaceful alliance with the elves of mirkwood (and possibly other elvish domains too) #so can we please NOT with the tired trope that thorin is all nerr derr derr about everything with elves #I mean yeah he might be#but he’s also an educated future ruler of one of the greatest kingdoms of middle earth and capable of diplomacy and learned etc etc #you know what I mean #kid knows his tongues; all I’m saying #ANYWAY (via ourpathislaid)

Agreed with the hashtags. This is a pretty vague contract. C’mon Thorin, you can do better than that!