Dear Tuesday,

Just – just stop. Look – I get it. Monday wasn’t shitty enough to suit you. I mean – yes, I wound up spending part of last night having a cry and then sitting up reading Homer’s Odyssey until too late o’clock because crying weirdly gives me energy instead of making me tired and because that’s always been my favorite Greek epic. I realize that that technically makes it my own fault that today is going so shittily, considering that I got maybe five hours of sleep all told because of the said silly decision to read instead of crying myself to sleep like a normal person. But did we really have to start the day with me banging my head on the car roof as I got in and then continue with the endless string of emails from hell where I basically have to fix everyone’s shit since they’ve managed to fuck up the database yet again?  Was it really necessary for me to be popping Excedrin this early in the day because of the headache and the leg cramp from sitting in this shitty chair? Is it strictly necessary for me to be having a please don’t talk to me I can’t handle sound day? And for today to be employee picnic day so I have to put up with people over lunch instead of getting any recharge time? Did I really have to get stuck with inferior Starbucks coffee that makes me ill because we’d run out at home? Do we really have to play like this, Tuesday?